12 April 2007...

Songs from a lonely soul
The blues of the strings of words
Tears from that weary eyes
The pain to live in a cruel world
Scars from that last fight
The reluctance to fight the next war
The mask had been torn
So please never again let it be on.

7th to 11th April 2007, I was in the school attending the Cypher Camp 2007 as a student leader. Despite the cockups I faced, it is considered a well enough camp. My team was Vista, the most hyper team. It could be the reason that they are very active during the waiting on hold for the RP break game. That was when they had finally generated the cheer.Our Alliance think thing was a fun case, they had very enthusiatic and funny people there like Nicklaus and the banana man. I personally believe that they have the qualities of a good team I desire, but nevertheless Vista possessed some of them. Finally got a taste on how club could had look like, low lights and loud music. Swear!! I will go to club once I turn 18!! For that 2 night over at the camp, i had never had a good sleep. Went into a one day coma after returning back home haha!! Anyway, just to tell you guys, I met a very chio girl in my group. Guess what?? She was bornt on the same day, same month and same year as me!! WHAT A CONCIDENCE!!

After the long coma,went out to meet the long time no see N~Zire. This is sort of the last dinner before the three out of the four heavenly kings go for their tour in Hong Kong. Hmmm... maybe Honsonn is right, I should be the one to feel lack of sense of belonging. I truely had feel it strongly nowadays, no reasons but it just feel this way... Hong Kong trip.... haiz.. how I wish I could join them.

Sometimes, it can't help to be so envious of your own siblings. My parents look more upon my younger brother. But I can't blame them, my brother had trophies after trophies for competions he went. He had now 3 trophies while I had only one medal from the last sports day. Though my own brother look upon me, but I still feel that he will do far better than me... Since young, it had been this way; no attention for me; no sense of fulfillment; no luck; no nothing.... Life I led is a considered a miserable one, thus now I wonder how can I make it interesting?? Childish isn't it, am I? But I don't really care about those now, just get on with what I want; but just sad that it had always been obstructed.

I stayed in this small island for 18years, everytime yielding to get out to play and see the world. When young, I wonder how it looks like to be out of Singapore touring in other country. To see the whole world, and know it. Thus that was when I had a dream to be a pilot when I grow up, childhood dream it was; to see the world in the plane I fly. But sad, I was inherited to have slight
astigmatism. Thus had this dream off since secondary school. But I still have the hope to see the world... Thought my parents will support me, but looks like they never will... Over concern to kill me, money to strangle me... haiz...But I can't blame them, because of our family background and I understand...
A matured man will understand why is life is down, and I understand why.... But sometimes, chances just don't come as it likes. But people around kills me just as if they like. But I will never give up, for the future of me and for the sake of myself... Because if I don't help myself; no one will...

Thought of the day:sometimes, we really have to stop and take a look around...