26th July 2007, back once again.... Having some trouble sleeping, thus thought of blogging now. Hmmmm, just finish up what I have to do for the proposal for the melt camp...

Nowadays, I am working on a list of quotes which is creatively generated by me. This set of quotations shall remind me of my principles. Thus, they will all form Shaocheng-logy. You see, the purpose is because I need something to remind me of my principles so that I will not forget them and betray myself.

About going to school, I should be soon celebrating the coming of HOLIDAY!!! That is so going to be saying good bye to JAVA, IT security, Database and networking. Kind of love these modules though, gave me the specialty. So school was great anyway, as I found back the very moltivation to go back to school. Anyway facilitators are always commenting that I should ask more questions to other teams, hmmm but they never know why I never do so... I don't take questions as personal attacks, but I have this feeling some do. Either it makes the whole class think they are in a war of "A"s or its some principles of theirs which makes them be so defensive. But however, one of my facilitator gave me the following comment, which is quite a useful advice for me.

Sorry its kind of blur, I am particularly attentive to this whole paragraph talking about questioning other team.
" I understand that some students 'shoot' questions for the sake of making the other person look bad, but I hope that you will not feel personally attacked its normal, constructive questioning turns a little aggressive. This is one of the skills that you have to learn. That is learning how to handle people who are out to bring you down. Think about how you can defend your stand, and whether or not the questions they are asking is relevant".
WoW! I love this facilitator... She is right, I have to learn to handle those who are out to bring me down as there seems to be alot... Can't just keep avoiding those people because they will always be back to shoot me down. I shall learn to not let those people get what they want, but maintaining a peaceful me....

hmm.. shall stop here...

Shaocheng-logy (line7) Learn to handle those who are out to bring you down.

In my head, I sing....



Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
call I'm desperate for your voice
I'm listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet

I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and pollished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Because every breath that you will take
while you are sitting next to me
will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?

I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
x4
( I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
( I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

16th July 2007... I should say a big FINALLY to see myself sitting in front of my laptop screen with the blogger browser up.A real long time since I last blog, and the reasons are the usual busy.

School life? Honestly speaking, there is almost nothing to say here besides telling you that I went to school almost everyday only till recently when I started to skip lessons. Mainly last week which I skipped Friday and Monday lesson. Meiqi was like saying that I have Monday blues and Holiday mood. Haa~~ smart guess I would say, that was one of the few reasons I had. For last Monday, I was seriously so frustrated and tired that I decided to not go to school for the day which I found out later that it was a wise choice though. For the sinful bad Friday(13th), so tired to go to school thus faking my sickness and sleep my way for the day. Its the 13th of Friday, it might had been a bad day.

Melt camp? Planning stage coming to the end. And I wonder if I had done a good job... But it seems like we are all behind schedule for one week. The meeting today was canceled at the very last minute. Pretty angry when I heard that news as I am in the doubt that my teammates can't make it till the last minute and not directly even. So anyway, that was some rushing hot blood, thus I am cool right now. I am more concern on the plan of the activities that will be running on the camp, the proposal which I need to compile and the clients which I need to settle and approach. I fully aware that this is no one man job, I will take the good initiative and all that I have for this thing as a project head just to run this marvelously for one good time. I failed before, it can be quite demoralizing.Its understandable for me that sometimes we just can't put down our pride to be under a person that have failed before, but I have to emphasize that I don't need anyone to work for me BUT TO WORK with me for a better good. I am aiming right at the camp, to run this well; trust my teammates are with me, I believe they will. I understand that I am already in a situation where I just can't fail this anymore. I am blinded from some facts, or everything is just fine?

Just for the past 3 weeks, I had receive comments and also comparison of my face with others. Personally, I am quite pissed by that.I shall spare the details because its a "everywhere I go thing". Well, I wonder should I blame anyone or should I blame myself. Part of the wonder, have I had really comment someone's bad looking face on a random basis so much so that I had hurt that person; I have to say I have not seen the high frequency in that? Anyway thanks for those who had commented, I understand where I stand and I will never bring my look out as a means to serious market myself to irks the other party off, so EASE!! Next, I don't need any one in this world to tell me how turn off I am in terms of appearance or worse a third party to determine or prove how turn off I am. Lastly, if you would like to comment on me please take a good look at the mirror as well.

Climate changing is for real, world is turning upside down is also too good to be true. You might have heard people saying "APPEARANCE DOESN'T MATTER". Ladies and Gentlemen, I present you that lie of the world. Once I heard from my buddy saying that the society is very particular about how a person look, he says for example a handsome guy with better charisma will tend to get a job in an interview compared to an average man with a good charisma. I thought that was something which is not so true. But soon I see this practical reality of this society. Just recently I went to Giordano for interview, so what happen was I am suppose to give them my particulars. Upon handling up those information, the staff started to look at Nigel, Shawn and me very throughly on our hair and face. Very practical, it seems like they are looking for those who look good to fill the part time slots. So another thing was that, once I walk down my Campus Agora with another friend of mine who had been quite popular among the girls for his look. So we met this lady whom we both know, being polite I said hi but her immediate attention was to my friend beside me. HAA~~ I was like, thanks huh??? I watched 200 pound beauty and there was this particular quote in the movie which says "there are 3 types of women in this world, the beautiful ones who all man will treasure; the average ones are the necessity and the ugly one are rejection." A pretty structured quote to describe women in men eyes. I had did something which I thought was quite stupid of me but it was just for fun. " there are also three type of man in this world, the handsome ones who will always be the topic of admiration, the average one who are all subjected to comparison and the ugly one who will always become the joke for the year." SIGH~~~ Fortunately, this is just the frown side of the society; there is always otherwise. Part of Shaocheng-logy will say: Comment only the good things, reflect on the bad things. To use this on the scenario here it simply says, for those who like to randomly comment on other's appearance please only make a big hu-ha for those who you think looks good, for those who looks bad just keep it to yourself/among friends and make sure it don't leak. For those bad looking or average ones, know where you stand and don't invite idiots that may just demoralize you...

Since I got the time, I shall share a story told by Honsonn about his senior. This man named Donald(correct me if I am wrong) who was a very enthusiastic man and had excellent results. He is a cheerful man, though he likes to irritate others. A few months ago, he was diagnosed of brain tumor. It was a malicious tumor which spreads fast and was endangering his life. But this respectable man knew he will die, but he never gave up and fought with the devil till the end. Unfortunately, god always takes away a good life; he passed away. Honsonn told us this story of his senior in the context of a brother who sort of sell us out and he feels that everyone should have a second chances for the mistakes they made because life is unpredictable.I am agreeable to him, life is indeed unpredictable. Thus I have to learn to treasure and cherish the every moments I have with the people around me... Unpredictable life...


I am done for the day, with more busy and ****-up days coming for the week. So much things to worry, so much things to consider and so much things to think and brainstorm on. As usual I will pray for the goodwill in each day I go through.... zzzzz

Shaocheng-logy (line1)
The world will never try to accept you, but you can try to make the world accept you...

Song of the day:

05 July 2007, it had been a long time since the last time I blog here. The weeks had not been very good for me.

What will you do if you are frustrated over things around you? What will you do if you fall down? Will you learn to fall. Can you tolerate the injuries and hide the scars after that? Can you stop thinking and imagine about your surroundings for that one minute?

Just lately I am kind of very frustrated nowadays and it had been deteriorating my performance. There is no definite answer to that, just feel frustrated every morning. It seems like any thing around me can frustrate me now. In the morning, when my hair refuse to stand, waiting for the bus, which is always late. When I can't really think about an issue effectively when my brain feel so struck, thus when the other answer to the issue came, I will get glares which seems to be saying"hey, why are you so stupid?". Then generally I will feel stupid. Thought of using violence to solve that, like punching a punch bag; but the problem is I have no punch bag. Thought of singing, but my sister is forever in my room. I don't quite like singing out my anger in front of any body. haiz.. Should stop this frustration soon, if not the message that transmit to my mood everyday is " hey, lets just give up."