23 February 2007, next day; another day of my holiday... Under the moonlight, here I am putting in the next entry...
A Song which I am recently crazy with...
Sum 41---> pieces
I tried to be perfect, but nothing was worth it
I don't believe it makes me real
I thought it'd be easy, but no one believes me
I meant all the things that I said.
If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own.
This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don't know how it got so bad
Sometimes it's so crazy
That nothing can save me,
But it's the only thing that I have.
If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own.
On my own.
Ahh!
I tried to be perfect it just wasn't worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It's hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along.
If you believe it's in my soul
I'd say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I'm better off on my own.
____________________________________________________________
That's all for today... haha.. Boring =_='''
Friday, February 23, 2007
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
20 February 2007, third day of Chinese New Year... Nothing special, just went doors to doors to visit; considered normal rountine in such festival.
Once again, images of perfection appeared in my mind...
Followed by the feel of happiness, the sense of fulfillment...
Soon they dissappear, Awaking minds...
Which leaves a wandering soul behind...
Such dreams in my mind...
So near to feel it, yet so far to see it...
??? What am I writing??? Once a literature students, but yet so lousy in poems.......... (shi bai shi bai)
Now when I look around, things had changed and I am unaware. I feel so weak, feel so distorted and so hopeless. Others are better than me while I live in a pathetic state. All because I found the reason,that I still hear the voice of the devils louder than the angels...
Consciences speak and I must get rid of their voice and presence...Because their presence leaves things undone and milestones unfullfilled... Their voices make me a lousy guy, a useless man while others climb...
Devils are laziness, timid and loser... I will defeat them
Angels are discipline, confident and winner... I will welcome them
Damn.... Rome wasn't build in one day... All this shall take time...
Thoughts: So near to feel it, yet so far to see it....
Once again, images of perfection appeared in my mind...
Followed by the feel of happiness, the sense of fulfillment...
Soon they dissappear, Awaking minds...
Which leaves a wandering soul behind...
Such dreams in my mind...
So near to feel it, yet so far to see it...
??? What am I writing??? Once a literature students, but yet so lousy in poems.......... (shi bai shi bai)
Now when I look around, things had changed and I am unaware. I feel so weak, feel so distorted and so hopeless. Others are better than me while I live in a pathetic state. All because I found the reason,that I still hear the voice of the devils louder than the angels...
Consciences speak and I must get rid of their voice and presence...Because their presence leaves things undone and milestones unfullfilled... Their voices make me a lousy guy, a useless man while others climb...
Devils are laziness, timid and loser... I will defeat them
Angels are discipline, confident and winner... I will welcome them
Damn.... Rome wasn't build in one day... All this shall take time...
Thoughts: So near to feel it, yet so far to see it....
Monday, February 19, 2007
19 February 2007, just finish visiting the relatives...Had to do this since its Chinese New Year, paying 'respect'.
"Never judge a person by his/her look", I will pay my respect to the person who created this quote but I will also feel sad for that man since no one seems to follow his quote. I am commenting this in my own personal experience, so you might have a different view about that or is it only visible in my country. Perhaps it is, then I really have to applause loud and clear to Jack Neo's production.
Some how I experience this from the people around me who are decades ahead of me
Clever, smart= Straight A's in O'level..
Great Achievements= Still scoring A's in O'level.
One strand of highlighted hair= Bad boy, sure get beaten up one day
What happen to the elder child will happen to the younger son
Back home late= doing something bad outside
Being fasionable=Nor respecting the elderly.
Handsome face = Bright future, trys to be handsome? You will get yourself into trouble
I had grown up in a environment where no one will be there to motivates me, no one will be there to give me a pat on the shoulder,no one will be there to celebrates my achievement, the first priority is given to monetary benefits and lastly your face will deter your chances. When I look around the teenagers around me, the smallest achievement or dreams they had; they will be showered by tonnes and tonnes of good words while all I get are just mere sarcasm... Every where I go, there will definately have people directly challenging me and bound to their greatest cause to put me all the way down, and normally they come in big bulks and it gets bigger. I tried to be perfect to others, but nothing seems to be worth it when some other teenagers don't even have to try. Thus sometimes I will sigh and quote the chinese saying:" tong ren bu tong ming" which basically means, same features as the other man; but leads a different life. I grew stronger, learnt to self-motivates myself and gave myself a set of principles to follow despite such agony. But whenever I fall down and stands up, some one around me will pushes me down again and soon I found out that I am walking the path all alone with self-motivation, day dreams and devils around me. The strongest man will fall one day and I am just afraid that, that day will come for me and I can't stand up anymore. Anyway, such life... I am used to it, perhaps I am just lousy as they said...
I will definately have lots of life experience at the end of the journey, but I will also experience severe and fatal injuries along the way... Life's like that, all the least I can do is tolerate and be strong....
Thoughts:I lived in a cruel cold world, where there is almost no love, no sense and no care.... what can be done, is to love myself and flood myself with achievements and self fulfillment....just to remind my heart and soul, " I am not bad after all"....
"Never judge a person by his/her look", I will pay my respect to the person who created this quote but I will also feel sad for that man since no one seems to follow his quote. I am commenting this in my own personal experience, so you might have a different view about that or is it only visible in my country. Perhaps it is, then I really have to applause loud and clear to Jack Neo's production.
Some how I experience this from the people around me who are decades ahead of me
Clever, smart= Straight A's in O'level..
Great Achievements= Still scoring A's in O'level.
One strand of highlighted hair= Bad boy, sure get beaten up one day
What happen to the elder child will happen to the younger son
Back home late= doing something bad outside
Being fasionable=Nor respecting the elderly.
Handsome face = Bright future, trys to be handsome? You will get yourself into trouble
I had grown up in a environment where no one will be there to motivates me, no one will be there to give me a pat on the shoulder,no one will be there to celebrates my achievement, the first priority is given to monetary benefits and lastly your face will deter your chances. When I look around the teenagers around me, the smallest achievement or dreams they had; they will be showered by tonnes and tonnes of good words while all I get are just mere sarcasm... Every where I go, there will definately have people directly challenging me and bound to their greatest cause to put me all the way down, and normally they come in big bulks and it gets bigger. I tried to be perfect to others, but nothing seems to be worth it when some other teenagers don't even have to try. Thus sometimes I will sigh and quote the chinese saying:" tong ren bu tong ming" which basically means, same features as the other man; but leads a different life. I grew stronger, learnt to self-motivates myself and gave myself a set of principles to follow despite such agony. But whenever I fall down and stands up, some one around me will pushes me down again and soon I found out that I am walking the path all alone with self-motivation, day dreams and devils around me. The strongest man will fall one day and I am just afraid that, that day will come for me and I can't stand up anymore. Anyway, such life... I am used to it, perhaps I am just lousy as they said...
I will definately have lots of life experience at the end of the journey, but I will also experience severe and fatal injuries along the way... Life's like that, all the least I can do is tolerate and be strong....
Thoughts:I lived in a cruel cold world, where there is almost no love, no sense and no care.... what can be done, is to love myself and flood myself with achievements and self fulfillment....just to remind my heart and soul, " I am not bad after all"....
Saturday, February 17, 2007
17 January 2007, the countdown is over and I am in a holiday~~!!!
Just came back from N~Zire meeting and again it is still a fun filled meeting. Jokes are there to make us laugh and tease are there to blush some people. Haaa~~~ The details shall not be here but in my head...
Just this morning, I am also just from my class W15L chalet.... Pretty fun~~~~ just bored at a little moment. I had little pictures with me, so guess I will be back with more pictures??
So fast yet so slow, chinese new year is coming~~!!
Just came back from N~Zire meeting and again it is still a fun filled meeting. Jokes are there to make us laugh and tease are there to blush some people. Haaa~~~ The details shall not be here but in my head...
Just this morning, I am also just from my class W15L chalet.... Pretty fun~~~~ just bored at a little moment. I had little pictures with me, so guess I will be back with more pictures??
So fast yet so slow, chinese new year is coming~~!!
Thursday, February 08, 2007
08 February 2007, I finally self-declared a holiday for me in Republic Polytechnic. Actually the official holiday was 12th February 2007, which is next monday. But no one seems to care?? Because the next few problems after Understanding test will be deem as "Rubbish" to all RP students.
Went to school as usual on 07 February 2007, normal routine... What differentiate today is that, I make my way home after the UT before the lesson starts. In simple words, I skip my lesson. Don't have any motivation to continue my lessons from then, the only motivation is to skip my first lesson in Republic Polytechnic.
I headed home for the first time at the time when I am not suppose to. Take a nap, after which was a period of gaming till I decided to visit the Library. Wanted to find some books on marketing and human resources. Ironically, I lose the interest to read when I reach the Library... Ha~~ but I still took a browse on some of the book, which are pretty good I feel... Back home, I gamed again... Life had yet to be interesting for me.
Some how, I am quite glued to the chinese myth story of the cowherd and the maiden weaver. Yup, you bet it; I watched the 9 p.m. show on channel 8. Though it is an edited version of the myth, but some how I felt the feeling of the characters of in this myth... This myth is definately a very touching romance story, haha; how it takes a cold mean person like me to understand romance?? The myth is about a heavenly maiden weaver, the seventh daughter of the mother queen who has an excellent hands on weaving silk clothing and her duty in the heaven was to make clothes for the deities. One fine day, the maiden weaver togethered with the other fairies came down to earth to play and then that was when maiden weaver met cowherd. They both got married with 2 children. The heavenly king who happen to know that her daugher was married to a mortal man, ordered a immediated action on the couple. On the chase between cowherd and the heaven troops who took away the maiden, the mother queen casted a river( which can been seen on the dark night skies as the milky way) between them to seperate the couple forever. The cowherd and the maiden weaver loved eachother very deeply, and their love had touch both heaven and earth thus mother queen allowed them to met once a year on the 7th day of the 7th month of the lunar calender. So on that very day, known as the chinese valentines day, under the help of all magpies in the world who built a bridge on the milky way for this two loving couple to meet. Ha~~. I researched on the myth and discovered that actually the same myth was shared in the ancient Korea and Japan. Incredible huh? Different land, different culture seeing the same celestial phenomenum. Furthermore research, I also found out that the river that is being depicted in the story is actually tht milky way we would see on the night skies and the cowherd and the maiden on the skies are the "Astrial" and "Vega" both the brightest star on the Augest-September sky. p.s: psst... anyone interested to follow me spot them on the night sky this Augest or September??? Share with you the picture I found.....
End of the story of cowherd and maiden weaver story, a very touching romance story of the mythology china. Teaching lovers on the modern world what is the meaning of true love...
Just recently, or long time ago I had face this problem in my project team. Members are missing from meeting, client delaying reply and project on the halt. Frankly speaking, I don't understand the phenomenum behind these. Is it people getting sick of my face, getting sick of my project or what? How can I let people understand my theory behind the chessboard when my own teammates don't understand????haiz.....
thought of the day: 2-2=0 or 2-1 =1 ???
Went to school as usual on 07 February 2007, normal routine... What differentiate today is that, I make my way home after the UT before the lesson starts. In simple words, I skip my lesson. Don't have any motivation to continue my lessons from then, the only motivation is to skip my first lesson in Republic Polytechnic.
I headed home for the first time at the time when I am not suppose to. Take a nap, after which was a period of gaming till I decided to visit the Library. Wanted to find some books on marketing and human resources. Ironically, I lose the interest to read when I reach the Library... Ha~~ but I still took a browse on some of the book, which are pretty good I feel... Back home, I gamed again... Life had yet to be interesting for me.
Some how, I am quite glued to the chinese myth story of the cowherd and the maiden weaver. Yup, you bet it; I watched the 9 p.m. show on channel 8. Though it is an edited version of the myth, but some how I felt the feeling of the characters of in this myth... This myth is definately a very touching romance story, haha; how it takes a cold mean person like me to understand romance?? The myth is about a heavenly maiden weaver, the seventh daughter of the mother queen who has an excellent hands on weaving silk clothing and her duty in the heaven was to make clothes for the deities. One fine day, the maiden weaver togethered with the other fairies came down to earth to play and then that was when maiden weaver met cowherd. They both got married with 2 children. The heavenly king who happen to know that her daugher was married to a mortal man, ordered a immediated action on the couple. On the chase between cowherd and the heaven troops who took away the maiden, the mother queen casted a river( which can been seen on the dark night skies as the milky way) between them to seperate the couple forever. The cowherd and the maiden weaver loved eachother very deeply, and their love had touch both heaven and earth thus mother queen allowed them to met once a year on the 7th day of the 7th month of the lunar calender. So on that very day, known as the chinese valentines day, under the help of all magpies in the world who built a bridge on the milky way for this two loving couple to meet. Ha~~. I researched on the myth and discovered that actually the same myth was shared in the ancient Korea and Japan. Incredible huh? Different land, different culture seeing the same celestial phenomenum. Furthermore research, I also found out that the river that is being depicted in the story is actually tht milky way we would see on the night skies and the cowherd and the maiden on the skies are the "Astrial" and "Vega" both the brightest star on the Augest-September sky. p.s: psst... anyone interested to follow me spot them on the night sky this Augest or September??? Share with you the picture I found.....
On the left is the cowherd star"Astrial" and on the right is the Maiden Weaver Star"Vega". The blur white stuff in between them is the milky way.
End of the story of cowherd and maiden weaver story, a very touching romance story of the mythology china. Teaching lovers on the modern world what is the meaning of true love...
Just recently, or long time ago I had face this problem in my project team. Members are missing from meeting, client delaying reply and project on the halt. Frankly speaking, I don't understand the phenomenum behind these. Is it people getting sick of my face, getting sick of my project or what? How can I let people understand my theory behind the chessboard when my own teammates don't understand????haiz.....
thought of the day: 2-2=0 or 2-1 =1 ???
Friday, February 02, 2007
2nd February 2007, celebrating the end of another month January and once agian wonder the speed of time. Early in the morning, as I sits down over here alone in my classroom... That's Right, ALONE! Some instincts tells me that everyone is not coming for class today, its already 0815 and not even a company here.
Went to Honsonn house to celebrates her sister, also part of N~zire... Again and again it is a fun filled day... Cut the details but it will still run in my mind... Alright.. the best happy birthday for Miss Wong Ferlyn A.K.A Genie A.K.A Sotong
hmmm...guess I shall stop here. As I enter this blog last full stop, I am so happy to see that there is at least afew classmates coming in already. I am not alone after all.. =)
Went to Honsonn house to celebrates her sister, also part of N~zire... Again and again it is a fun filled day... Cut the details but it will still run in my mind... Alright.. the best happy birthday for Miss Wong Ferlyn A.K.A Genie A.K.A Sotong
A picture of the birthday girl....Miss Ferlyn
hmmm...guess I shall stop here. As I enter this blog last full stop, I am so happy to see that there is at least afew classmates coming in already. I am not alone after all.. =)
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