eleventh post

Job Hunting today..
okok.. today.. quite a busy day.. early as 1 pm i set of from my home.. suppose to be the safest place... to the society.. haha.. lols..so lame.ok..lets go straight to point.,today i went for a job hunt.. with my brother, shawn and his wife Sueh li...haha.

we went 2 grand cortorne..dunno if its spelt tis way..haha... it is a five star hotel.. but my brother was rejected..I'm accepted.. but i think shawn is a good buddy, he jio me when there is work..so i decided to let the job off as well..anyway its not so worth it as its pay is not even the same as pan pacific..haha.. then we went to a agent introduced by shawn cousin who went to him b4 for job..haha..den he help us to find job..haha.. bt i forget to ask got commission or not le..haiz..got to go ask again..haha.. so tts all for the whole entire afternoon... boring??haha.. its goin to be even more boring when i start working..haha.. NO NO is interesting... working le..i am dying for it man..haha

Gundam Destiny
after reaching home.. i took a short nap... den i watch tis cartoon.. Gundam destiny..veri graphic worx.. alot of graphic..bt haha.. its veri impossible in this world..opps.. i mean the scene of the cartoon is not possible in this world... take a look at tis screen shot..

imagine if this world is going to have tis kind of war machine. no longer like the present military facilities.. no fighter jets like F15 or sort.. no more tanks..everyting we depend on tis mobile suit.. looks like human..bt its veri powerful.. as u can see the impact of their power in the screenshot.. wow.. it is so powerful... it sure can vapourish someone if one is going to be hit by tt...bt true enuff..tt is powerful.. bt it is veri impossible in this world..tink the world can take tt blast?? tink we got enuff natural resource to make suits like tt?? tey need thousand milion to make a effective war on tis..true??..tis haha.. it can sometimes make me imagine too much oso

But it is a veri nice cartoon despite its violent and unrealistic scene..i'm touched by the characters... the cartoon truely showed the pain of war.. and how pain it is to lose ur loves one under a triggle of a weapon... why i say tt. tis cartoon is abt a boy who stay in a island which is suppose to be a safe and stable place.. bt..unfortunately in a battle...tis island under a govt was attacked...he lose all his family members..including his most dote sister.. its a veri bloody and sad scene.. of cos..tt guy cnt take the impact..he cannot believe it.. and he lose trust on the govt on tt island and he migrated to Plant..a place of higher military power.. 3 years later..he is a soldier fighting a war for plant..protecting its peace...

'Because there is always disputes..power is neccessary' is tt true??ya..tink so..cos human nature make no country in tis world to compromise their power.. humans..we are the dominant species

tenth post

Long time since I'm here

okok...again sorry for being so unfrequent here.. haha.. cannot blame.. all this day is really busy till no body cares..haha.. well quite abit happen during my absence over here in the blogging world...lets share...

Christmas Eve (24 December 2005)

ok this day is not veri nice fer me.. of cos i am not going to share the bad stuff.. its a relationship problem..bt i certainly make one enemy here tt day.. a guy.. bt since it is settled..i shd say tt is the best christmas present i received...

Ok minusing the bad things.. lets see the happy moments during tt day.. ok.. in the morning it is quite happy..as My brothers and shi mu and shawn's wife sueh li and me played fer the whole afternoon..haha.. We went for pool and bowling in Saffra..not forgetting how we run in the rain and everione being drenched... played like no one bussiness tt day..tts the life we have been asking for 4 years..haha..dun we??? den aft tt we joke and joke and joke like the world is foreva goin to be tt way.. haha... laugh and laugh and laugh..its quite a long time since we all laugh together tt way..its a heart warming session for me to tink back now..haha...

And oso not to forget..I gave my first flower to the gal i like..so happy tt she likes it.. haha.. durin the nite..quite unhappy fer me..as i receive SMS of challenge frm a guy.. bt.. i soon get it over and go back into the mood..got really thanks shi mu, Yi Qi..she comfort me when i feel low tt nite... and oso my 2 brothers Jing Ren and Shawn.. haha.. so we countdown in Somerset..since we cannot sqeeze ourself into Orchard.. haha... pathetic.we din heard the countdown actually..haha..all of us is like busy spraying the artificial snow lo..haha.. but its quite fun..haha..we seldom see snows in Singapore..haha..its a rare opp...WAHAHA...

After that went to settle my stuff..den with shawn, Jing ren, Andrew and his wife..we sit dwn under one void deck and tok all nite.. haha.. Shawn and I also tell abt some ghost stories we heard..haha..and encounters..haha.. SO FUNNY.. all of us is like so scared and our hairs are literally standing..haha..bt we all go home around 5 am..for me earlier as my parents are boiling.haha...

Christmas DAY!! 25th December

wahaha..tis day ar.. is shawn birthday..actually i am grounded at home..bt feel tt shawn is my brother..i cannot let him see a incomplete brotherhood coming to his hse..so i sort of convinced my mum to let me out.. haha.. so it success actually..and we had a great time at shawn house ..esp the whacking period..when we pour powder on shawn and we run away as he chase us..haha...

My parents lock me out tt nite too..so bo bian..i cycled back to shawn house..and called my auntie..den i spend my nite there le..haha.. reach home the nxt day at 9 am..slp and slp till 7 pm..haha.. surprise at my slping abilities huh??haha

today---> 27th December

ok..today din go out in the afternoon..till the nite.. i Called pan pacific today to check my bookings.. SO FRUSTRATED. as they cannot find my bookings..dun let me caught bala eating up my bookings..haha.. kiddin..tt manager is not so bad aft all...nvm.. i shall call tml.. den went fer meeting.. SJAB meeting..sort out stuffs for the incoming year 2006..

sad.. tt gal i like(hopefully i still).... is not feeling well.. humpf..hope she get well soon...I'll pray fer her..me myself oso sick.. got sore throat..humpf..bt i will still pray for her well being..heex.

Before I end....

hmmm.. 3 more days and tts the end for year 2005.... i shall write one entry abt my year tis year on 1st Jan..haha.. for now... i am still looking forward for 2006..as i am going to a new school new education.. I am going to a poly.. of cos i am still craving a flying color pass in my o level.. I have faith in myself .. I will pass!! and I WILL!!!

No one is perfect in this world.. perfect is a onli a word to convince urself tt u are good

ninth post

today...afraided

ok..today..whole day grounded at home.. feel so lonely..waiting fer call...waiting fer tis waiting fer tt..tis life is utterly boring.can't wait to go work tis friday..at least can stop me frm tinkin some tings tt can spoil my mood..

today i tht of O'lvl again..dun noe why tis ting can really haunt me like shit...though i feel tt i wil pass..bt there is times where a nightmare like i will fail it..really makes me afraid.. i really really need tt o'lvl...dunwan to live without it...I AM really veri afraid..

lately in the evening..went to meet her.. mood lighten... she gave me something.. a bag of cookies.. I love it.. really nice... felt so touched... she oso gave me a bag of something..something tt touched me.. well.. she haf history wif me..and i really find myself drifting back to her... dunno why either..feel so .... when she tok abt the other guy... also her nick...I am afraid to forever loss her cos i really dunno how to let other love in, afraid tt i might get hurt again and live in hatred... I am afraid and i am loss of what shd i do... :((

generally I am afraid today.. I AM REALLY VERI AFRAID just like a kid...feel like crying, with the tears of sturborn n reluctance...but tears dried up 7 yrs ago le.... i din really show my fears..bt deep in me.. I am afraid... I DUNWANNA FEEL TIS WAY ANYMORE!!!

HOPE ALL TIS IS JUST MY PARANOID......

OUT---> kiddy SHaO Cheng

eighth post

Dream

I had a dream ytd nite..the dream is quite a nice one..bt i really really really pray it is a real one too.. as in my dream i dreamt that I PASSED MY O'LVL.... Really really pray it is a real one.. I am really really really scare of the result..

DREAM COMES TRUE...DEY DO...

seventh Post

General Apology

hmm..think quite long din blog already..haha.sorry..hehe... perhaps too busy and oso too tired to do so ba..aha..well within this long period quite abit of things is happening to me..lets see

NCO course 2005

ok...this is a very long topic here..well lets make it short.. well this year course day is alittle bit different frm last year.. as in this year the camp is 4 days 3 night.. hmm..lets talk about why i want to join this course as an instructor.. well its a long story...to cut it short, i went for this course to be an instructor was due to some personal impact NCO course had on me when I am still a training..basically I should say NCO course changed my life.. it sparkled off the leader in me... no doubt i am a leader now, and i am keen to see more leaders passing out..so therefore i join this course to see what i can help in developing new leaders new and better talents

The camp is quite a stressing one as the instructors had minor conflict with eachother...well i am sort of middle man..but its ok now as it is solved..alittle bit late...but at least it is solved..hmm..the trainees are good as in they are enthu. but they are some times getting out of hands... but lucky fer all the instructors..we still got them back under our command..haha.. this year's trainees are quite and pretty smart as they are more of the demanding lots.. no doubt they pose quite challenge to the Instructors...

Well, we instructors are the real victims.. we are sort of being pushed around and pinned pointed alot of times.. we sometimes feels that we are make to perfect something which is already perfect.. however the details are confidential..so i decided not to post it..but generally, we instructors feel that our ranks n post are challenged to obtain the minimum standard of the cadet than to be made use to help obtain the minimum standard.. Sumarise, I dun feel proud being a NCO course instructor 2005 untill today when the course ends and when all things are being brought up both by trainees and officers...

Basically, this course is another life experience for me..The picture of life is even clearer.. from what i can see from the stress in the camp, the stress of being put in front line..But i truly learn alot....lastly i am so glad to meet a group of potential and wonderful leaders in the course..and thats my instructed group---> Gryphon

the followings are the members of the team...

Cindy Peh(AHS),Wang Miao(AHS), Sharifah Husna(BNS), Norliyana(BNS), Nurul AIn(BNS), Toh Jia Ling(BVS), Muhd Arif(CCS), Nurul Jannah(ESS), Muhd Faris(JYS), Jasmine Low(SPF), Ang Wan Lin(TMS), Joseph Chang(TMS), Ng Zhen Ling(YYS), Nurash Wedia(YYS), Tay Jia Ren(YYS), Lim Chung Yang(YYS)

together we are the gryphons... ONE TEAM ONE ROAR.. you guys are a wonderful lots.. as u all place a up to standard challenge for my first time being an Instructor...

Chalet... 56 Brothers

haha..well after the stress, stern camp..i am resorted to a more relaxing environment..and that is the Chalet in SAF resort...haha...well truely we played alot.. and enjoy ourselves..like what Honsonn said, its quite a great time for fun and to learn to be independant..since its like 4 days 3 nite no parents no anything..just ourselves..And i am glad to say tt we really helped eachother alot in the chalet..and fun is the only word i can find in all of us..haha.. well.alittle craving still for the chalet..Hope can see the video soon..haha.. I wan to see my face in it..wahaha..

OhOH..not to forget these following pple who turned up..personal message..

Honsonn(tai zi): hey brother, thanks fer making this chalet possible..u did quite alot..u brought in fun and laughter... u are really like a leader among us.. u are really a person worth to be buddy

Shawn(ren Zhe) n Sueh Li: what says this couple..haha.. u both man..so loving..well perhaps this chalet shd had make the both of u to the next level of love evolution huh.. haha.. ok..think thats all fer u all

Jing Ren( bunny): hey brother..why so serious man.. chalet relax..dun need to be so kan jiong..cannot finish de thing we can slowly do.. hmm but..u are quite a coordinator over here..hmm..good job, things run well under u...

Nigel Sim and Derrick: ahem ahem ahem..both of u hor..pro at siting infront of X-box and play..haha...but nvm all of us do..well u all make a good companion..thanks fer coming brothers...

My beloved Shi Mu Yi Qi:hey hey hey..my shi mu le.. haha.. well same thing thanks fer coming.. well u really are the onli one who can split open my mask de le.. haiyo my feelings cannot hide frm u de .. no fun..haha. bt anyway tt prove tt u are truly my shi mu mah...hahah..well..thanks fer coming and listen to my grievances as i do have some ..thanks..

My beloved Ngin An:..no status fer u..haha..as i dunno how we are getting along.. hope we can go back to the closeness we have last time..our loving times.. and thanks for coming.. u make me feel touched..and i hope i make u touched too... thanks...muackies

Generally..thanks fer coming.. u all make a good companion.. well whether the sky falls or the ground splits.. I will never forget u all as the pple who lighten my life and make it so meaningful..thanks..

Other matters:

yeah found a job...training 4 the job tis tuesday.. finally.. got pay..can buy alot of things.. and can oso buy gifts to my beloved gal..hehe..dun reveal yet.. she noe herself.. hmmm..think tts all..yawn... slping time..ZZZ

A good leader is also a good follower, learn to follow b4 u lead..

sixth post

NCO course 2005- Hike Recee

hmm..today is the day for the hike recee..is it a impt thingy for me as i need to know the exact checkpoints of the hike..so as to have a better preparation during the hike... so now got the list of checkpoints le..haha.. cannot list out..haha..course veri dangerous here.. wahaha.. anyway I know PU in and out le..so no need to remember the route and so on onli need to know the checkpoints..haha..but maybe the deserted prawn farm tt part alittle unclear for me..hmm..today recee is kind of dead dead one.. not like last year..perhaps last year it is more lively as there is alot of laughter and talkings.. but today its almost dead..except for some craps by Johnathon, Alvin and me... we oso play some speeding dwn the slopes and so on..haha..kind of fun that side..but at the end..all like zombies le..haha.. but it shd be fun for all la..since the trip today is sponsored..wahahaha....

My mind keeps going...

Ok..after the recee..I went home..and then life is as usual le..haiz.. so sian.. I really dunno what the hell i am now.. it looks like i am never satisfied wif myself.. I am always imaginating things.. haiz..really dunno what to do..I had tried many ways.. I tired myself for one week le..play soccer..go NCOC..and so on and so fro..but i just can't let my mind free for not at least one min.. haiz..

furthermore.. all these days, quite alot of rumors.. and i sort of still wondering why these rumors come abt... lol... am i really that flirt that all this scandals thingy come to me..hmm..looks like i got lay my hands off on some matters...hmm tts not a prob to me..rumors aren't real till they prove they are.. but the real thing i am not happt is that all this days i am kind of being manupilated by pple around me in attempt...my mum told me sometimes i must learn to give in.. haiz. the problem is i am already a master degree in giving in le..I dunwan to give in anymore.. i am sort of being a loser..as whenever i give in..the onli thing i get in return is less troubles..and i mean less troubles that means still got trouble.. well I believe fate in love..I AM NEvER READY TO BELIEVE FATE IN ANY OTHER THINGS..so if fate is to fate me as a loser in life.. den i wil fight against this fate, i will change my fate.. I AM NOT A LOSER!!

Within my buddies..my buddies told me I am improving le..but at the same time pple outside are challenging me.. but I know challenges on life is something unavoidable..but sometime i really feel veri tired facing challenges aft challenges... but i noe that i had came tt far le..that i haf no choice but to make my life so miserable and systematic..tts life without love ba..perhapz.........haizzzzzzzzz..furthermore.. I felt so fustrated..it seems like what i had done is not appreciated at all.. ignored completely...but haiz..what 2 do..learn to comply b4 complain...

But anyway, tts life.. living up to the buddhist proverb, LIFE IS FULL OF SUFFERINGS...then i shall take that sunshine will come aft storm......but whether or not..I will live up to wat i expect of myself...tts my life...

Whats up tml??

okok..tml got to pack my things fer camp and at the same time for my chalet..then i will be free to meet up wif pple b4 i go real MIA in society...den at nite..soccer training.. SHAWN better be coming....... den tts all le fer the day..hmm..so lonely and boring and systematic hor...

Rumors aren't real till they prove they are...

Learn to comply b4 complain..learn to follow b4 lead

fifth entry

cycling day..

hmm..today I woke up late, around 1 p.m. haiz... what to do no exams no school no nothing..so nothing to do so slp lo.. but today got a last min call frm Honsonn..asking me out to cycle..so I decided, Since nothing to do at home, so i go out and cycle lo.. along the way, Honsonn and me somehow talk through our personal stuffs..hmm since we are buddies, then we should listen to eachother ba... we talk of alot of stuffs...we talk abt honsonn's recourting his ex thingy.. asked abt my decision of patching.. we discussed the soccer team training and so on so on..we sort of cycle slowly and din really speed...along the way alot of stuff we talk abt...I kind of lose count oso..haha..

AFter which..honsonn went to look for his 'hao peng you' me too look for 'peng you' the peng you who make me so confused abt my status.. what shd i do wif her?? i really dunno.. is it so sudden for her to come back..shd i or i not.. puzzled.. follow feelings or follow fate..i really blur.. i noe my stand..bt i duno hers' n she dunno hers... same old problem..dun feel the love frm her..is all this true or is it just another time push for me to fall back into the cliff..haiz.. puzzled..confused.. haiz..what is her choice in the end?? me or tt guy...perhaps nt me ...dun wan to see the worse case senario .......i really dunno...

where to find true love...cover all the grieves and guilts...

fourth entry

Where is my stronghold??

hmm..today, start my soccer team's training.. sad hor.. my team now onli got 4 people. but what to do.. this 4 people are the permanent players..sort of the founders of the team...but one of them din turn up today..well can say today i had a showdown.. we played wif a few malay boys... i score one goal.yea..haha.. aft those boys..another gp of pple came to us..play 2 balls. i score one aft lagging one ball..

our mentor Honsonn..tell us our weakness and stronghold.. hmm he says that i am alittle bit nervous when put on pressure.. my shooting is oso always abv head level... and my passing is not penetrating enuff..hmm.. i sort of and kind of agree wif that..haha.. den he told me my stronghold..he says if there is a captaincy in my team..perhaps i am the best candidate, he says i had successfully showed the determined side by pushing forward despite lagging a goal to the other team..he says perhaps i am a borne moltivator wif leadership..hmm this one, i leave it to the others to comment ba..haha..then aft that, we start to specialise train le... they trained me in my speciality as a Winger.. Honsonn says, as a winger, we must be able to sort of humiliate opponent player..hmm haha.sound so ..haha..bt is that my stronghold..perhaps ba..since i got the tendacy 2 humiliate someone at times..hehe...

One team One Voice One Self One language-->passion

shd i not??

hmm..today..something happen.. But i dunno what to do.. I wan to patch wif her bt i dunno whether got chance..and where to get the guts..humpf..guts..where do u live in this world..chance, are u on my way?

Love depends on fate..