sixth post

NCO course 2005- Hike Recee

hmm..today is the day for the hike recee..is it a impt thingy for me as i need to know the exact checkpoints of the hike..so as to have a better preparation during the hike... so now got the list of checkpoints le..haha.. cannot list out..haha..course veri dangerous here.. wahaha.. anyway I know PU in and out le..so no need to remember the route and so on onli need to know the checkpoints..haha..but maybe the deserted prawn farm tt part alittle unclear for me..hmm..today recee is kind of dead dead one.. not like last year..perhaps last year it is more lively as there is alot of laughter and talkings.. but today its almost dead..except for some craps by Johnathon, Alvin and me... we oso play some speeding dwn the slopes and so on..haha..kind of fun that side..but at the end..all like zombies le..haha.. but it shd be fun for all la..since the trip today is sponsored..wahahaha....

My mind keeps going...

Ok..after the recee..I went home..and then life is as usual le..haiz.. so sian.. I really dunno what the hell i am now.. it looks like i am never satisfied wif myself.. I am always imaginating things.. haiz..really dunno what to do..I had tried many ways.. I tired myself for one week le..play soccer..go NCOC..and so on and so fro..but i just can't let my mind free for not at least one min.. haiz..

furthermore.. all these days, quite alot of rumors.. and i sort of still wondering why these rumors come abt... lol... am i really that flirt that all this scandals thingy come to me..hmm..looks like i got lay my hands off on some matters...hmm tts not a prob to me..rumors aren't real till they prove they are.. but the real thing i am not happt is that all this days i am kind of being manupilated by pple around me in attempt...my mum told me sometimes i must learn to give in.. haiz. the problem is i am already a master degree in giving in le..I dunwan to give in anymore.. i am sort of being a loser..as whenever i give in..the onli thing i get in return is less troubles..and i mean less troubles that means still got trouble.. well I believe fate in love..I AM NEvER READY TO BELIEVE FATE IN ANY OTHER THINGS..so if fate is to fate me as a loser in life.. den i wil fight against this fate, i will change my fate.. I AM NOT A LOSER!!

Within my buddies..my buddies told me I am improving le..but at the same time pple outside are challenging me.. but I know challenges on life is something unavoidable..but sometime i really feel veri tired facing challenges aft challenges... but i noe that i had came tt far le..that i haf no choice but to make my life so miserable and systematic..tts life without love ba..perhapz.........haizzzzzzzzz..furthermore.. I felt so fustrated..it seems like what i had done is not appreciated at all.. ignored completely...but haiz..what 2 do..learn to comply b4 complain...

But anyway, tts life.. living up to the buddhist proverb, LIFE IS FULL OF SUFFERINGS...then i shall take that sunshine will come aft storm......but whether or not..I will live up to wat i expect of myself...tts my life...

Whats up tml??

okok..tml got to pack my things fer camp and at the same time for my chalet..then i will be free to meet up wif pple b4 i go real MIA in society...den at nite..soccer training.. SHAWN better be coming....... den tts all le fer the day..hmm..so lonely and boring and systematic hor...

Rumors aren't real till they prove they are...

Learn to comply b4 complain..learn to follow b4 lead