June 6th, 2008... Somehow I am very restless today. Holiday just started and I wake up everyday with prayers that everything is going to be fine.

FYP, we just entered and almost finished the second phrase of developing. Mainly the administrator and user functions. Pretty much to do within 2 weeks. I am done with all the module except one, which is to edit and update loan details. It went on pretty smoothly for me but it had been hell to my teammates somehow. Now everyday I'll be so shocked by my teammates MSN nick which goes like "DAMN FYP" or "FUCK FYP" which makes me wonder why am I so relaxing when doing codes. Is it because I am doing something simple? Or am I just being good at it? During the whole phrase of developing my own modules, I had found alot of interesting facts and performed stunts on codes which I had obviously not tried during any of the WAD lessons. I know, my teammates are all trying hard to finish their modules and find new ways to complete it. And lets hope they continue doing so because, "GUYS, its worthwhile... "

MELT camp, something which I am seriously brainstorming for ideas to revive it. Just recently a school started to respone to our proposal, NEGATIVELY. Just as I expected, price is not right for them(AND YET I KEPT QUIET DURING THE MEETING, HOW DICK CAN YOU BE MARK!?). Now I had been asked to do a cost evaluation again, AND YES I will do it.Somehow I feel that I had lost the confidence and trust from my teammates and I am also aware of the other negative things that is happening which cause all these screw ups. I had ideas to overcome this, but it means doing the extreme which the return is a variable and BUT it might steer the fate of this project. So should I or should I not?

Haaz, Shawn just called me a workaholic.Its' a negative notation according to wikipedia but I am not denying this fact. Yes I am a workaholic at times. It's fear and the set backs I had which lead and make me this way. Alot of people feels that fears are for cowards, but Scott Burken in his book the art of project management mentioned that "The braves are the ones who feel fear but took action to it" which I personally buy his thoughts(yes, I think I'm brave enough after all the shits i've been through). Maybe because of all the brush through I had, it makes me no longer forget in arrogance that the things around me are not as what I perceive. And you know, things had changed; no longer as easy as it used to be.

Thought of the day:I have not and never will give up on people along the side of me, and lets hope they will not give up on me and things we are fighting for.