12th April 2008, I am late again for an entry about yesterday. It was a bad friday or should i say I screwed it?

Shao Hui was right, there's no point acting happy when you are not. But I have no choice because I know how much I can spoil a mood when I am really unhappy. I can say the most vicious the most hurting the most killing words in this world, but I just can't say words that are sweet and touch people. I lose my cool today; its really disastrous; its a failure to curb my unhappiness. Maybe its after all right to put all blame on myself and give in; little bro was right I am nothing just a loser. Anyway its my fault today, to make fun of a person who is already in pain. I owe a sorry to that brother i always call. But I just hate being rejected so violently even when I show no harm and I really do. Oh my fuck, Mark; Have fun do over you so much and make you forget about feelings of others?

I'm trying hard to stop making fun of people, its so uncool. No one enjoys it either and I can't find any other jokes.. Its really time to shut my mouth up for good.

Friends, we all stand on the same world. Maybe it's just me, I am out of the world. I need a break, to come back to this world? Or should I just continue listening to stories about the other world?

Anyway, I will still and still and still put a smile to disguise every unhappiness in me. Its only wise to do so.