October 15, 2006. Another week had just past and a new week coming up. So what is ahead of me? I wish I can find out but future is always a unsolved mystery.

Understanding Test ahead of me, my only target now is to score as many As for my UT, so that I will secure that 50% of my results. Last semester is a lesson for me...

Ok, lets show case some of the blog things..

You Are The High Priestess

You represent mystery - secrets that are yet to be revealed. You find yourself sitting between two worlds: one dark, one light. You tend to hold these two worlds in balance, reconciling the two. Open and welcoming, you invite others to learn your secrets. Your fortune: Something hidden, or latent, in your life is about to come forward. You need to pay more attention to your dreams, thoughts, intuition, and imagination. And if that involves tapping into your dark side, it will all balance out in the end. You have a lot of potential dying to be unleashed, so let those gates open!

What Tarot Card Are You?

You Are Cyclops

Dedicated and responsible, you will always remain loyal to your cause. You are a commanding leader - after all, you can kill someone just by looking at them. Power: force beams from your eyes

Which of the X-Men Are You?

People Envy Your Confidence

You have the attitude and self esteem to take on anything. Failure is beyond not an option for you - it doesn't even cross your mind. People envy your ability to take on any challenge ... and they're secretly afraid you think you're better than them. You don't. You're just sure of yourself.

What Do People Envy About You?

14th October 2006, alittle bit late here to blog. Going to blog about 13th october 2006. hmmm

First would be school, smacked with the problem from Cognitive processes and Problem solving. The problem today is really something I don't really enjoy man. Its about contradiction and logic. wah.. Nightmare ar.. guess gonna get another B for Cog already... Nothing much for the school day.

After which was going to meet brothers and sister for a bowling session.. Played quite well for the day my points are " 112" at the first game. Second game I dropped partially they are betting la, then I stress..haha.. so my second game is like "68". haiz.. Friday the thirdteen la..

A good news!! we got a name for our clan.. Guess what it is.. It is call Й-Zi?e..HAHA nice ar.. hmm N is because in all our names N is the most frequent letter. zire is from the word desire, it means our desire in life and bla bla bla.. That is definately something new for the clan.

12th October 2006, the last time I blogged was the starting of the week, now its reaching the end of the week. i spoke of whether i should be optimistic for the week, I got an answer now; yes I should be optimistic.

I guess the problem is that Monday I am suffering Monday's blue. I couldn't focus and my mind is in quite a Chaos.Culture and Aesthetics, hey I am once an Art student, why can't I do that problem well?? maybe it is because it is about the elements and principles of art that makes me hard to apply it

Tuesday was enterprise, my most happy day besides the judo training. I learnt about marketing that day, touched on the 4Ps and SWOT Analysis. Actually the SWOT analysis is something extra and bonus to the class, I added it in because I know of such stuff in the marketing Area. Surprised? haha. The whole level only my class know about the SWOT analysis thanks to me.As the facilitator already said in my comment "your swot analysis is something bonus to the class" hmm I am happy for that day for what I had learnt, I am more confident for my pending project run " mind your own business Workshop". The East Spring Secondary teacher is in favor of my proposal,so hopefully it can be done. But I still got to thank the three ladies, my seniors who helped me alot along the way. Judo was again a torture for me, the day was tiring for me and I went into the martial art room with a half dead body. No strength no stamina, in the end I got thrown like a doll as usual. Phobia to train with HK , he is too much for me man. Kata Rendori for me I had not really performed to the fullest, but the ground work was quite a battle for me. First was Edwin, I pinned him once and he pinned me twice. Second was HK, got "K" !! Third was Kelvin, also the same. But I am getting to get very frustrated overmyself that I just couldn't fight well enough. The last was Nicklaus, I managed to pin him down twice, but I just couldn't forget his body crush on me, for your information he is 100++ kilograms.Currently suffering from cramps that is still mingering around my body. Fizal was right, I am too angry to fight; got to learn to cool myself down when I fight.

Wednesday, nothing much besides schooling and going home to sleep.. Maybe UT is the one that I can remember of.

Thursday, which is today. Its maths module that starts the day, guessed what I learnt today? Chi-Square Statistic. The formula is X^2= Summation(observation freq - expected freq) / expected freq. Once you got that you will get the Chi- Square of a set of data. To find if the set of propotion data is true, we uses chi square. Statistics, it is fun but tough, so far I learnt from Binomial distribution to Chi square distribution. Moving in towards intermediate level of statistics studies. It is important for my future since I wanted to be majoring in business arena. After the lesson was a hardcore game of Counter strike with my classmates; had a real fun game with them. HAHA, if I had not flash back I might not have notice that the dynamics of the class is improving; we are getting more and more united. They are hardworking but at the same time fun..hmmm

Tomorrow is 13th friday, suppose the cursed friday. Phenomenum says that you are gonna be real unlucky on this day. hmm not many people beliebe that either.

hmm.. I was just thinking of my future nowadays. I wanted to be a business consultant where my scope would be consulting on my client business developement and also reviewing their business plans. But I am still vake about the requirements of this career path. But it is definately one of my drive now. I am pumping myself with business knowledges from the fact that I am from business climate IG.

A piece of news, I am touching on my clan video now. currently stucked after the intro of the video. Haven't continue.

hmmm.. I am seriously tired now..got to go and sleep.. tata....

Just a little bit of blogthings survey that I had done.

You Communicate With Your Ears

You love conversations, both as a listener and a talker. What people say is important to you, and you're often most affected by words, not actions. You love to hear complements from others. And when you're upset, you often talk to yourself. Music is very important to you. It's difficult to find you without your iPod.

How Do You Communicate?

Your Life Is Worth...

$813,000

How Much Is Your Life Worth?

Your Hidden Talent

You have the power to persuade and influence others. You're the type of person who can turn a whole room around. The potential for great leadership is there, as long as you don't abuse it. Always remember, you have a lot more power over people than you might think!

What's Your Hidden Talent?

You Are 25% Left Brained, 75% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

Your Love Element Is Metal

In love, you inspire and respect your partner. For you, love is all about fusing together for one incredible life experience. You attract others with wit and a bit of flash. Your flirting style is defined by making others want and value you. Greatness and optimism are the cornerstones of your love life. You may let go too easily, but you never get weighed down by your past. You connect best with: Earth Avoid: Fire You and another Metal element: will control and smother each other

What Element Is Your Love?

You Are Bold And Brave

But daring? Not usually? You tend to like to make calculated risks. So while you may not be base jumping any time soon... You are up for whatever's new and (a little) exciting!

How Daring Are You?

9th October 2006, the week starts again; how optimistic I am to it? Currently in school, guess theres no need for me to blog the process in school. Come to that later. Alright lets show what is happening last friday and saturday. More interesting I suppose.

Last friday was Xiao Fei Xiang Nigel's birthday. So the whole clan went to celebrate for him. Where? Marina Bay is the place. I suppose we ate quite alot as Ferlyn had some problems as we went back to Tampines. Oh, it is no hawker centre or whatever that is low class you are thinking. It is middle class, we are eating at a buffet, some sort like seoul garden but alittle bit middle class..haiz.. have some problem how can I explain it. Here are some pictures of the day..

From left: Shawn; me ; Nigel; Yi Qi and Honsonn

Shawn and me, from good pals in sec one to brothers now

That's me and Ferlyn, advertising that Green Tea. Actually you know what I am taking picture with a future singer =D

That's me and my shi mu Yi Qi, don't ask me why I call her shi mu, the reason is like so unknown to both of us.

How can I ever to forget the man of the day : NIGEL SIM
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!

There are still lots of photo that is being taken, but not all I am going to put up here. After the dinner, we went to saffra to play bowling. HAIZ, I am so lousy in it.. haiz. haiz.. Anyway along the way, we met this bunch of colour wolves who eyed at yi qi and ferlyn, the whole clan of brothers was like staring at them with fierce eyes that they shun away..HAHA.. good day i feel, anyway; happy birthday to brother Xiao Fei Xiang... The day ends with us chatting at honsonn house, till day breaks. its a hazy week, haiz.. how come the PSI drop ar.. sianx ar got to go to school.

Anyway just to share something intresting to me, I done these surveys and here are the results

You Are Sunrise

You enjoy living a slow, fulfilling life. You enjoy living every moment, no matter how ordinary. You are a person of reflection and meditation. You start and end every day by looking inward. Caring and giving, you enjoy making people happy. You're often cooking for friends or buying them gifts. All in all, you know how to love life for what it is - not for how it should be.

What Time Of Day Are You?

Your Chances of Being a Multimillionaire: 68%

You have a good chance of being a multimillionaire. Better than most people. You simply have a natural knack for money and the personality for success.

Will You Be a Multimillionaire?

You Are From Saturn

You're steady, organizes, and determined to achieve your dreams. You tend to play it conservative, going by the rules (at least the practical ones). You'll likely reach the top. And when you do, you'll be honorable and responsible. Focus on happiness. Don't let your goals distract you from fun! Don't be too set in your ways, and you'll be more of a success than you ever dreamed of.

What Planet Are You From?

Your Personality Is

Rational (NT) You are both logical and creative. You are full of ideas. You are so rational that you analyze everything. This drives people a little crazy! Intelligence is important to you. You always like to be around smart people. In fact, you're often a little short with people who don't impress you mentally. You seem distant to some - but it's usually because you're deep in thought. Those who understand you best are fellow Rationals. In love, you tend to approach things with logic. You seek a compatible mate - who is also very intelligent. At work, you tend to gravitate toward idea building careers - like programming, medicine, or academia. With others, you are very honest and direct. People often can't take your criticism well. As far as your looks go, you're coasting on what you were born with. You think fashion is silly. On weekends, you spend most of your time thinking, experimenting with new ideas, or learning new things.

The Three Question Personality Test

You Should Drive a Ferrari

Sleek and sexy, style has a lot of importance in your life. And you'll pay a lot to look good!

What Sports Car Should You Drive?

You are Agnostic

You're not sure if God exists, and you don't care. For you, there's no true way to figure out the divine. You rather focus on what you can control - your own life. And you tend to resent when others "sell" religion to you.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

5th October 2006, A simple life or an extrodinary life?? thats a decision I had to made. It is still about student Ambassador. If i chosse to lead a simple life now, it would be not so much commitment to SA, if I choose an extrodinary life, then I would be into SA spreading the name of Republic Poly. But Zero was right when I went to the principal dialodge. Why am I so uneasy when I come to Student Ambassadors?? Why?? Isit because I don't feel right to be there, or lack of confidence? tired? or what? to be honest, I am tired of event being clashed together. I choose BC out of everything, not just because I got a hand in there, but because I felt that they had train me alot interms of enterprising skills. This is something I couldn't learn from student Ambassador. But deep in me, I don't feel like going off SA, as I have friends like, Rudy, Raj, Zero, Edmund, Ronald, Chun Long all this who are nice people; but I just feel that the working style and the requirement doesn't met me. What should I do??

3rd october, 2006; 1 day away from blog, though one day but there are also lots for me to say..

Monday, 2nd October 2006; was a pretty much good day for me. Its the module, Cultural issues. Learnt about Cultural Intelligence. The topic is pretty interesting to me, and my team made a good presentation of it. I felt more confident that day when I stood up for presentation, as if I gotten it back. haah, didn't I said before that I found my confidence to present dropping very rapidly? that's the point, I should had got it back. Regarding the results, I score A for that problem, but a comment by the faci that really makes me think,the individual comment goes like "Thank you for your participation in class today. You were certainly one of the more vocal members of your group (though in the third meeting, you were mostly active when questions were directed at your group and did not really ask other groups questions about their presentation)." thats the first paragraph, second paragraph is in relation to my RJ, so I drop that. hmm, is she trying to hint me on my interpersonal skills? hmm should I explain to her how i felt that day??

Tuesday, nothing much; just the debate. HAHA, got through!! I convinced partially of the class with my conclusion, but got to really thank my teammates, Kin Sheng,;Joan; Li Fen and Khad; thanks for their solid speech before my conclusion, then I can made a good conclusion. Anyway the topics is whether to outsource or not for RP D&D, my team is debating on we should use RP students more. It is a real challenge, because I had always share a mindset that, outsource would be a good solution to solve the inexperienced people in a company and of course I felt stucked at points of the debate. But nevertheless, it changed my mindset today, I made a strong stand, my conclusion was like " Students are inexperienced, but they are not unabled; we feel that, RP students should be given the rightful opportunity to gain experience through running a considerable major event for RP; of course the issue on inexperiency had to be addressed and I can assure that, advisors and experienced seniors will not let their juniors just as they are". Disclaimer: I edited some of my words up there ;)

Continuing to JUDO, finally I clear myself from other commitments to come for judo training, its like very rare to see me on the dojo. Felt so guilty. Of course absence pay a pricel; I LOSED AGAIN IN JUDO.. haiz.. can't throw properly, got whack like a doll... and so on. hmmm; but the last fight , I put in all my might, but I got head butt by HK, got wound on my lips now.. haiz.. there is some upcoming events that I hope I can get to it in judo. The grading test, the training camp and the IVP.... haiz.. tired always after JUDO.

hmm, guessed i had forgotten to blog about Business Climate that last saturday when the retreat happens. hmm, I am very glad that I had a strong impression as a talent to my seniors in BC. I found more the reasons to stay in BC now like I always do, BC really makes me learn alot of the business arena and boost my confidence to touch on external projects like the one I am doing, the workshop. I got a chance to do a project which might affect the publicity of BC, that would be the " SLA " hmm, I had a goal right now, I WANT TO ATTRACH AS MANY YEAR ONEs next year into BC. Hope to work with my senior closely and together, bring BC back into every RP student's mind.

Student Ambassador, as I am still wondering to be happy or sad for passing the probation. This pass would mean that I am officially appointed as Student Ambassador of Republic Poly. I asked Eugene, my mentor about how they progress in selecting the SAs, because I doubt my pass to be honest. I once talked to Hadi that I will leave SA since fundraising is my last event in SA, I doubt myself to have show large commitment, but I STILL GOT IN?? Frankly speaking, yes I have some unhappiness for myself in SA, but the main reason and is the largest REASON why i wanna leave SA is about time commitment!! Date back in the entries, I stated what I want to focus, adding SA into the list would mean I got myself a new title " SUPER BUSY MAN'

hmm, considering the SA issue; I find myself enjoying the previllages of leaving school early, listening to MP3, singing at home, playing games and etc. Am I ready to give up all this previllages to tie myself down with commitments like this???

October 1st, 2006; children day.. Long long ago I celebrated that, right now I am no longer a kid, young adult?? hmmm...

Sunday, finally!! I get to rest, had been very very busy with 2 IG projects. Now one is over, the other is pending. Student Ambassador, I am still considering if I want to take back my words.. But most probablily I will.. YOu see, I am just too busy; I am afraid of my heath.. Mental health...

Got to go out now, its school day tomorrow....

29th september 2006, friday; at Honsonn house.. chatting and singing... hmmm.. what is the topic?? as usual, relating the past, present and future...

hmm, my brothers, their childhood were so interesting... haah, just mine not that interesting at all.. my childhood is only being filled with, expectations... At the age of 1 and a half I am already starting to learn ABC , drawing and abacus.. haiz.. all the skills are just mild right now.. age of 3, I started to play soccer.... my father and mother wants me to be a lawyer, being stress on that for 5-7 years till I reach primary 6 when I decided my own career path... hmmm... sometimes I wonder what is happening man, whenever it speaks of the past and the future, I am always been shoot down.. haah, not interesting ba....

hmm, got a shock.. HEY HOW COME.. how did I still got into Student Ambassador?? hmmm.. nah, I don't know what to do now........

haiz..sianz.... Why I am always being shoot down in terms of ideas and stuff like that, am I that lousy??? why am I that i share my experience, everyone changes topic, am I that boring???????

thoughts: What is my life.. what is all this???? What is happening...............

September 28, 2006. Second blog of the day. hmm.. my life is getting back on his track?? I hope so. I don't think I perform well today for the problem again. Overloaded with events.. hmmm..

First would be Student Ambassador Fundraising, my very last event in Student Ambassador. suppose the sales is very good today.. hmm That's great I feel. .. Tomorrow the result will be out..

Business Climate.. yeappie, I heard that my proposal is on high demand. alright man, high percentage of getting through a deal. bad news is that SMU is fighting us, with the same idea; wonder if copy right applies here, as I don't know whether is it they are first or we all. Furthermore, their course are free, they got lots of sponsors..hmm lets pray for the workshop... Lastly, I got another project up my sleeve.. working alone, with the whole BC members aiding me on the actual day. Its open house, so I am suppose to come out ideas for the open house.. hmm gonna work hard with it...

Its still a long way to go.. yet i am so tired to it.... making my life more than interesting, thats my vision..

September 28 , 2006. Currently in Republic Poly W15L, my class; hmm have not blog yesterday as I am seriously tired. hmmm...

September 27, 2006... SA fundraising stars here, hmm I guess sales are making profit which is good isn't it. But the sales were not very good during my shift, guess it is due that the agora is not packed by then. I was like very busy yesterday, for a moment I am in Student Ambassador event, the next moment I need to run to the printing library service to print proposal for the "mind your own business" workshop as my seniors are going to present it to the client in the behalf of me. I guess my daily result yesterday is going to be very sucks as I don't seem to have contribute alot.Just afraid that the coming 3 days will be the same.. haiz...

For today, I going to be at the fundraising booth at around 12 to 1. WHEN I AM ALSO GOING TO HAVE A BRIEFING ABOUT TOMORROW TALK at 1230. So i emailed dun fu to request that i will be at the first shift which is from 11 30 to 1215.. after school, will be Business Climate general meeting, which I must go if not I will be eliminated from the list. hmmm Tomorrow is another very long day, wah.. must persevere through man....

26th september 2006, a pretty EMO day.... why? two things in mind, Student Ambassadors and some personal problems again.

Student ambassador, its the event tomorrow... What am i gonna do?? I can't fake myself through that, I just don't know what to do. I really really felt useless over here. But nevermind this, because this friday the results are gonna be out and I don't think I am in...

Personal Problems. BROTHERS!!!... just got a call from one of my brother, pertaining to the lyrics that honsonn and ferlyn set for the singing. He was not happy with the allocation of lyrics as he sings only mile mile part of the song. Actually I also sing the mile mile part. As he speaks, he became more and more replusive, he started to raise his voice through the phone. I gave him quite a few solution like, " hey lets see how things go first , maybe the later songs you might get more involvement?", " hey what about sitting down and talk to honsonn nicely?" then he started to reject this solution and of course I explained to him why i felt thats the way, but he just don't listen. So then I ask him, so what you intend to do? he said of his solution, he said he want to talk to honsonn about this, then I was like, ok, no problems. But i saw things happen before, he will show faces and so on when people finish him off, so i gave him an advice, "hey, ... look here, i got to be frank, everytime when you negotiatate, you are replusive, that wun solve the problems" then here he go even more replusive, he reputed me in the end" I don't think I want to talk to you anymore, you make me even more angry about this thing." So I said, "huh whats wrong??"he replied" I called you is just hope that you can give me a solution to this, but you make me even angry only" come on, i said so many solution but none seems to work for him, what can i comment now?? furthermore, I am that straight forward, I say what i feel is going on, because I also grow in a world where pple are straight forward to me. haiz, in the end, i sent a message to him to say sorry...So what's gonna happen now? I don't know, I just hope that it won't be another bloody friday..... man looks like I am the one that is always giving in, not you brother...

25th September 2006, finally said out what I actually wanted. I told Hadi that I will be leaving Student Ambassadors after the fund raising event. Considered for a very very long time, I suppose about 2 months already after the camp. Found myself not suitable to the surroundings in Student Ambassadors, and I am always so reluctants to go for SA meetings due to my uneasiness in the IG. Decided to end my misery of this, so I told hadi that, since it is the best time to tell as he was speaking of commitment. Anyway the probation result is coming out soon, I don't clinch much hope either since after the camp, I am sort of not so committed to SA. Its quite a pity, since I worked pretty hard from the interview to the selection camp, have I made a right choice? An arrow can never be retrive once it is out of its bow. I'll stay to my decision because I feel I have more to concentrate on. Right now, I have to tell my mentor, but how can I ever tell that to him???

Out of Student Ambassadors, I had coming up plans for myself. Beside that I am going to concentrate on my studies, I was considering to stay back in the library to read up on management books every friday or monday. Tuesday and Thursday will be the time for me to train my judo. Will be also putting my heart into business climate, hope that my priority is right and this IG will one day regain its glory. Will be practisiing my singing. I just want to make my life a pretty much enjoyable one before the real hell come which is unavoidable. Wanna be an abled student, abled leader, abled manager, abled singer , abled judo ka and an abled sportsman. That's all I wanna concentrate for now.

Life is so full of decision, sometimes bad sometimes good. No doubt my life is so much like it too...

24th september 2006, Sunday, sunny mood!! Since I got to sleep and also have a chance to play my games.. haha..

I was back from shawn house that satyrdayday, the previous night was a whole night of singing and also chatting plus gaming. hmmm, sang a very nice song with honsonn, Gan qing xian( affection line) by 183 club. hmm..Currently so crazy with this song, ting ma ma de hua( listen to your mother)....

So pple say we must be driven by ambitions and dreams.. but sometimes are we over driven by our dreams and ambitions that we become over confident and ignorant to advices?? hmmm that just came to my mind.... I then ask myself, is my dreams driving me? haah, they are...... but i will stay humble for whatever achievement i ever achieve, not going to boast it around....

22 september 2006, right here in my school; together with a very wonderful class I suppose. hmmm. Having G102 today, boring facilitator I had here, super systematic. Got time table for class.. duh.. how to work???

Met up with SA people. Seriously I don't understand what are they discussing. Maybe is due to my long term absence. cannot blame either, I had too many stuff to focus. Right now, I just want to focus on my academics, my external projects, and my daily life. Tight schedule..

Gonna torn at shawn house later. Suppose we are going to practise the songs again. hmmm.. A group of buddies staying at one house , acceptable..HAHA...

Alright, gonna start presentation soon.. Signing out..

thoughts: Business = black and white only?? nope, its more into personalities, the arts of business, how much u understand.

20th September 2006, suppose to be 19 but was once again late for the the blog. Share the reason later.

I was suppose to be over at Republic Poly to training my judo.. but I skipped it today, guess I just don't have the mood to go either. Just felt like swimming and singing my day. "emo" again. Nevermind, I was not in the right status either, my right hand was pulled the last time I went swimming. I did went swimming today, its has been my favourite sports since I get to touch the water some sort of 10 years ago? haah.. history... Swim alittle today since my hand couldn't get me long, so went to sun tent with Honsonn my buddy. Chat big time again. Its fate that this team came together, people who have endless topics to speak of. After swimming, we went to look for job at sushi bar but seems like they don't need any employees. So went to Honsonn house. We are suppose to eat out, but his mum cook le, so we stay over. HaHa, our parents very know every single member of this group, so it is like when we go to eachother house, " SELF SERVICE PLEASE" practice our songs( tell you about more about this) hmmm. I am suppose to sing the Wang Shao Wei part in 183 Club 's Magical smile...

My class for the next semester is W15L... hmmm saw the name list of my class, got 2 of my classmates are from the academic rolls de worx.. guess they must be those kind of good good students, haah.. I didn't make it to the academic rolls, my UT killed me.. suppose to have score 3.7-3.8 if my UT is still ok, but right now i am at 3.6.. haiz.. hmmm. got to chiong for the next semester. hmm.. I look forward the new class, hope it will be a fun fun fun and also nice nice nice class...

oh, we are practising our ssinging and we are going out as a BOYBAND... alright man.. thats the reason. We can sing, but we are still not very good at it. haah. Music is another thing I love, remember how it cure my "emo-ness" everytime.. haah.. we are going to be a bunch of man man man boyband. Its a real dream to come true one day.

hmm.. my friend audrey speaks to me about her problems today..its about love..hmm, what's love? why is it that some can have a lovely relationship while others can't?? But nevertheless I still trust that love is a wonderful thing.. I can be driven by love, I know that. but right now, I AM OUT OF LOVE!!! so what? loving myself is enough for me now, i know i am not suitable for a relationship right now. Till time is ripe, lets wait..

So, school is reopening but all my friends is still in their holidays.. that's sad... there is time, I am really in deep thoughts why am I in Republic.. Is it a wise choice? I am doing well in Republic, but I feel this way? whenever i go to RP, I feel home sick.. haah.. But its nevertheless a path I choose, what else can I do?? I can't give up, because future is in my hands.....

19th september 2006, my 10oth post in neverending89.blogspot.com. Haah, after nearing one year of blogging. hmm, that's slow... its about 18th september on this blog, since I am late to blog before 12 a.m.

Woke up at 12p.m. love sleeping, keep sleeping, guess is better to sleep now then to doze off when semester starts. hmmm. Cutting that habit of sleeping nowadays actually, despite my dear to sleeping. Called Acer mulitple time today, kept getting this respone " our agents are currently busy, please hold while we attend to you shortly, alternatively".... Finally the call went through at 1720 hours when I called the 5th time since noon. Told the agent my problem with the labtop and she is sheduling an appointment this coming wednesday, meanwhile I will stay at home for the next 2 days to rest and also troubleshooting my laptop. Will be doing my rush revision tomorrow, was busy with proposal and socializing and stuffs like these, not even had a chance to really read up my past semester works.

Yuppie!! Finally I finished the "mind your own business" workshop proposal. I am proud of my ideas then, after brainstorming for almost one whole month!! That boost my confidence alot, right now my only hope is that Xue Ning , Zann , NurLiyana and me can clinch the deal with East Spring Secondary School. Lets make a big HU HA for business climate in Republic Poly then. muhaha... But you know what's sad too, I am not able to present my proposal, the client is meeting us at wednesday which is a school day for me and Zann had put my slides under Xue Ning. Haiz... hmmmm... nevermind we are one committee after all.

While my laptop is still at a half-dead situtation, I can't play any games, but I took some pictures of my cars from Need For Speed. I shall upload some of my favourite Rides... But not now, the connection currently sucks...

Right now, I thought of creating a website for my clan.. the 56 dui. But still needs to learn how to publish websites from microsoft frontpage... Anyone mind to teach me??? Awaiting your call...

2 days before semester starts, what is it going to be like? the next 16 weeks of schools. How will my classmates be?? good or bad? I don't know, and don't really want to know, for whatever it is I am there to learn. Republic Polytechnic, can it mould my future into a great shape? is not RP's responsiblity i feel, its mine... I have to learn to be independant in Republic Poly, unlike other poly, where they got their resources right in their hands, I have to go about in search of my own resources.. hmm.. that's my fate....

thoughts: How long how long wil it ever last???

16th september 2006, suppose to be 17, but I was 20 mins late. It was a real fun for yesterday and today. Out with my brothers.

Yesterday, a trip to jurong. We are suppose to be at the Swimming complex but the weather was not on our side. So its a walk around jurong. Jurong is kind of boring man, we were like, haiz sianx ar.. But lucky for us, we are a bunch of real fun people, we crack jokes and did alot of stuffs in jurong. Just something that we found out yesterday thanks to an unknown Auntie, whenever when the group is together, a massive road block will be created.She said in chinese " I just hate to walk infront of this kind of people man, block way"..... HA-HA... We did went to the swimming complex, after walking in the rain due to some direction errors. It was really fun, we played the slides and also the lazy river. Shawn made the day but slipping off the float alot of times.

Today, cycling day. Went to Shawn house early to get a bike, since I don't have one. its fun as in we cycled all the way to East Coast and we sat down and had a real chat. It something magical I suppose, this team of buddies just never fails to run out of topics to chat; it ranges from craps to serious. It is just a nice team i feel. Yup and its really a chat. From then we cycled and cycled till we reach bedok camp hawker centre and had our dinner. Its another long chat then beside that, we also look at girls. HAHA.. ahem.. Cycled back to shawn house, after returning the bikes, we all sat down and chat. HAHA.. honsonn likes shawn's cousin ,wei en.. haha.. nah just kidding, he is right ;i agree to full extent that wei en is pretty. Yup, from there we kept on chatting till 11 plus then we all head home.

Haiz.. my laptop is still the same. WHAT IS HAPPENING????

September 12, 2006.. mood is still very shacked by the condition of my laptop. Don't understand what has happen, it just been very laggy suddenly nowadays. haiz..

12th september 2006, suppose to be training in judo, but a bad stomachache deny my presence for judo. So i didn't went to judo, fell asleep in the end in my room. All the way till 3 pm. Played game to relax, away from serious work. Got a good piece of news, I SCORE GPA 3.6 for my first semester.. that really is a drive for me. But what lies ahead is still a myth.. got to stop here. Tomorrow will be meeting up my collegue to do up the workshop planning.

11 September 2006, night time. suppose to sleep but the mood for it isn't right.. After the afternoon blog, I was stucked by the planning of the workshop. Till now, I am still having Messenger problem, just can't sign myself in. Got to wait for tomorrow. Ya tomorrow, back to judo..

11 September 2006, Afternoon decided uploaded some photos from the Air Force Open House. SOmething I promised to do..

here it goes....
2 super duper F-16s that guards our air space

Alright man, thats the plane that guards our air space
We are forever Operational Ready!! haha
After lunch at the grandstand
F-16C , our photo with it.
It is suppose to be a shuai photo ..haha

ok, back to my serious work now; Business Climate workshop planning and also my revision for the last semester work. Coming back to blog again in the night =D

10th Septemeber 2006, its a reflection day for me.Flipped through all the archives files in my blog, hah, it has been a long way to here...

I saw changes in me from November 2005 till now, felt it is from good to bad. haah, a man with life in the past to a man with no life now. It all the same questions that I asked once, isit love that had make me a very fantastic person and had love just made me worse than what I will become?? Came across some of the posts entered when I was a Pan Pacific employee. Work life? its fun indeed, the money that comes in, miss those days when my pocket is forever full. Those were the times, where there is no more worries, life is just working and having fun. haah.. Some fun moments of the brother and sister family was entered too, those are the days I really missed. The lively days, the ambient of those days seems to have come to me for that short moment when I was reading the post. haah, its kind of different today, thats the cause of my miss; the only similarity is that this family is still there for me and we are still having fun, the difference is... everyone is leading their path to their future. Seriously hope that this happiness of mine will forever be there beside me because " In life, friends come and go thats becos we din cherish them.... In my life, there is this group of people who is more than just my friends.. thats why they come..... and stay.." . Saw the entry when I was posted to Republic Poly, haah, I was reluctant then, ya its true its a good school to mould the future but why am I feeling so lonely and lousy in RP?? Whenever I go to school, it feels like I had break away from what I am, I missed textbooks I missed pens, if I ever get a chance to go back in time, will I choose a lap top life again?Back to relationship, haah, how it feels like to be love again? question marks, I felt so numb to it now, once I love someone alot but she left me, haah... Love? its just too early for me..

I was once a person who enjoys successes in almost everything I done, that joy I once jolt down in this blog had never become a sight now. Suffering failures after failures nowadays, my shoulders are crying out of pain. Life is full of obstacles, never had been 7 sundays in a week, it all prove hashly true to me. Got to get over my failure derpression.........

I never know, what lies ahead of me........

9th September 2006, long time since I last blog.. hmmm... nothing much either, just a day after day. I am into recovery, from my failure. ....

5th september 2006, it has been a long time since I last put in my last entry. Life is yet so beautiful for me, and I wonder why. It's just one day after another. Lucky for my pass 2 days, pretty well over.

Last Saturday, 2nd September 2006, I visited the Republic of Singapore Air Force( RSAF ). They are suppose to exhibite about the changes in our Air Force to the 3 G air force. It is really a good sight, the F-16Ds, the Apaches, the chinooks and the F5s, all being modified to suit the modern world, because in this new kind of world, needs a new kind of force, a force that can act like nothing on earth. Saw how the RSAF is going to support our army in combat and how capable they are in defending our air space, only one sentence will desribe how i feel," I feel safe in Singapore now." The RSAF planes are all highly modified into a incredible version of fighters and combat aircrafts. Took quite alot of pictures during that day, it is still out of my reach, will upload some here when I got it.

Sunday, bought a new camera, kind of late but it was into good use today for the outing, but sadly there is some technical problems that all the pictures taken are gone.. haiz... sometimes I just don't know how to explain the unfortunate reason for me.

Today, was my project day the outing. its a failure to me, long expected? I don't know but it just don't feel right today. Not in the mood, not enough power, not enough ambient is what I see today. I am not someone who can really bring up the atmosphere anymore... Searching that ablity back.

Sometimes, I just have to believe in things like destiny and fate. Some people just don't have to work so hard to get the things they want, they are blessed that everything just fall into their places nicely. But things just don't fall nicely for me, whenever things that I do, it will be accompanied with human errors, if not low popularity. I feel very tired to work so hard, think so hard for things that I want and I like, but it feels as if I am going against my fate and destiny. I read one of my Student Ambassador's nick, " There is always obstacles in life, we have to climb over it." sound so moltivating and enlightening, what if right in from of you are just obstacles after obstacles?? Obstacles will come to an end one day, but will I have that stamina, that strength reach it? haa, quit asking, sentence that ends with question marks will never be completed. All that can be done is to bit my lips and find my way out that obstacles, till then lets hope for a smoother journey. NO!! life is never smooth, just accept it.

There is always a time when human will lose his faith in himself. Who will search that faith back for him, who will bring him back on track, who will guide him along? who will moltivate him? HE the owner of the faith got to find it back himself, because in this world there is no one that can really moltivates him anymore, he had just lose his soul and direction...But lucky him, he had just left with that sufficient amount of determination, lets hope it last him through. Thats me...

Septemeber 1st 2006, at the silence of the night I decided to put this entry up. nothing much. Just living day by day. Tomorrow going to "K" with my buddies, going to be happening.. thats all.. mmm

27 August 2006, I was put into a state of low morale and high guilt. Just wondering what is going around with me, my actions are going agains my integrity and not having any confidence in anything I am doing. I used to be able to locate the source of my demoralisation and act to it, thats why it appear that I am confident, but now I can't locate it, I don't know why is it that I am so demoralised out of a sudden.

Nowadays, when I am free it will be really free but when things starts to come such as meeting and duties it totally come together. I just rejected 2 appointments, SA meeting and class chalet. It is because I had piorities BC project and judo this time. Judo, because that I have to go for my grading soon and Judo has become one of my interest martial arts and I really want to excel in it. This wednesday is the due date for my proposal for BC, got to rush for it, I know if I were to go for SA meeting, I am so not going to complete this task, so I decided to push away SA fundraising meeting. Though its seems that I had piorities, but I am seriously very guilty of what I had done, its just that all this appointments are draining my energy that sometimes I also cancelled appointment because I overslept and stuff like these. haiz.. Should I drop one of the IGs?? I should but what should I drop?? It all dates back where I am over ambitious in the past...

thoughts: if only that the world is not so competitive..

mood: bored

27th August A.D. 2006, 4 day into the holiday. once again spend most of my time playing at home. Played Need for speed and Rise Of nation, currently on blacklist # 4!! finally i should say. In rise of nation, beat 2 country using Japan. I aided the Russian to conquer Koreans,what a change in history. Planning to break diplomatic ties with the Russian and conquer them.Still brain storming for ideas for the workshop, got some of it will be touching up a proposal and a timeline soon. Hope that East Spring will accept our proposal, it shall be a bigger project for me in Biz Climate. Speaking of that, went back to East spring to retake my O'level English, and I met my client there!!! Was like "oh My GoD", so just pretend I didn't see her,just in case she will think, how can a person who fail his english be a good presenter in workshops."_" hopefully it is just my paranoid.

I notice something. Am I getting just alittle not trustworthy? I was suppose to work yesterday, but I didn't at the very last min. The manager called me but I reject her phone. I promised my classmate to attend the chalet, but I am also having second thoughts on it. I want to work but I just don't feel like it that day. As for the chalet, its just that I am tied down to some cashflow problem. hmm just what happen to me?

August 26, 2006 A.D... woke up with a undesirable tireness that demoralise me to work. Spend most of my time brainstorming the ideas for Business Climate's "mind your own business" workshop. Did came out with abit of ideas and is drafting down my proposal soon. Sing alone in the room for 4 hours, nothing better to do.

Called shawn to check out if he is working today in Pan Pacific, he said no. Same sentiment as him, I want to work too, but no more Pan Pacific please. That place is 50% hell. So soon going on for a job hunt. Recalling what I had learnt in Enterprise module in school, not all personalites and style suits all kinds of job, guess it is pretty much true.

I saw a email from the student ambassadors. my purpose of joining this particular group of people is to do something memorable in RP. However there is this unexplanable agony in me that I just feel like moving away from SA at times. Just feel that I don't belong to that Interest Group, their styles just happen to collide with mine and I am quite suffering.

Have I lose something? I don't know just feel as if I did lose something along the way. Just that I don't know what it is. hmm, kind of miss secondary school life, miss alot of things. Alot of it. Seems to have lose the confidence I once prossess. What a lose....

A holiday of a month, how am i going to go over it? Can i get back my form within this month? well it all depends...

hmm.. am I very far away from the last blog? maybe acceptable, four days only. What I should say about these few days? serious work, serious mood? ya thats the words.

First I shall share what happen today. I retake my O'level english again, guess its badly done. I don't know how to explain is just that my mind today is not in the right state!! haiz make it everyday. Nowadays I starting to fall asleep more easily. Laziness is really ruling over me. haiz. WHAT TO DO?? but luckily I am still what i am when I am suppose to work, just lazy to travel, lazy to read, lazy to play also.

Watch THE LAST SUMARAI again today, my second time. Well, I like this movie very much, i find it very heart warming. Its not a love story between 2 people, but the loyalty and the disipline of a Samurai that makes up Japan. It sets of during the industrial age of Japan when the emperor is desperate to make Japan modern and invited lots of foreign developed countrymen to advise the Japanese. Of course, the Japanese are also desparate to overdo the western countries. But however this small group of imperial troop, the samurai feel that Japan is moving too fast and the foreign countries are slowly invading Japan. They rise against the industrial path. I shall not bore you guys with the content of the movie. But this part where I am really touch of is where the samurai push themselves forward the imperial heavy firing of machine guns. They fall apart which marks the end of the samurai, the imperial corps eventually cease the fire and pay their last respect to the trademark of the ancient Japan, the Samurai. The movie ended with the emperor rejecting the offer of arms offer and American Ambassadors direct help in the government of Japan, he quoted holding the imperial Samurai sword: " Its important for us to modernise ourselves, but we should not forget who we are"


haiz.. Mood is getting somehow bad nowadays. I scolded my brother today as he gave me some attitude face when I wanted to take over the computer, and this is not the first time he use violence to show his unhappiness. He push me and stare at me.. out of anger, I slapped him tight. But no elder is happy to beat up their own siblings, so do I shed the tears of pain when I see my own brother getting from bad to worse. I know I had pretty much failed to be a elder brother. maybe its just that they thought that I am those kind of carefree person, to be honest, I am not, there are lots of things I just choose to shut my mouth away from it. Just like my brother case, he is getting more and more rebellious and more and more rotten. he shouted at me and push me around.. I was so fed up that I almost use the judo osoto gari to pin him down, but i didn't, I know of his asthma. I shed only a few drop of tears the rest of the time I was shouting very loud at him, guess those who know me in SJAB will know how loud that is.
he cried and shouted at my parents who came out and stop us from the quarrel and also wanted to scold my brother. He told my parents that he wanted freedom he blamed my parents for his lousy self now. of course I am not happy with it, but somehow I managed to cool myself down alittle, I talk to him and he continued crying. I am still firm on one thing that I tell my brother much less also tell the SJAB when I was in power, "violence don't solve anything". I know these because I was once in deep trouble before. I slap my brother, but out there with his attitude he is bound to be killed. I reason with him alot, just hope he put those words into his mind. My family..... is a complete one but with cracks around and I want to mend it.

What i see today only makes me think back of the past. Once a carefree ignorant me have changed to what I am today. I worked so hard to have prove others wrong of what they think of me, I think i had pretty done it. But I know there is still lots of people out there who is sterotyping me, i changed my strategies, I just do what I think is right for me. I also guess my new friends in poly had just getting to know the other side of me, the serious and straight forward of me. I have spilt personalities, I know it myself. One side, the crappy, ignorant and carefree side of me is just a mask of the serious, straight forward strict side of me.

I am done for today, and just hope a better tomorrow. I shall put up the samurai spirit on me, persevere on what is right.

thoughts: the samurai is the most disciplined group of warriors I ever known, thats the reason why I am interested in japanese martial arts and the samurai so much.

just what I am

Mmmmm.. Late? am I?? nope.. not so..

How's life?? just as usual, no deep impact. Just getting busy. Get a hands on finally on Business, from business climate. I guess it is quite a poorly perform IG internally. What's wrong?? well, you can't really blame, business who is really interested? well I am but not others. Alot of people was attracted by business because of money, the "M" that drives. But not for me, passion drives me. Money? yes it is important, but it can never be the drive for me to do things that i don't like to. Student Ambassador, its an very well run IG, nothing much a problem in there, professional commitment, yes they have. I am driven by the impression i had on SA, the organised working way, just want to be part of them, and I really want to, but i am yet qualified? Judo, nah just a sport , not much organisation, but it really trained my mind, to be a perservered person.

That should be all, majority of my life is revolving around school and home. nothing much. I know its back to boring me. But I have a dream to persue............ hmmmm

yawn!!!

Another little time slot to blog..hmmm... Getting very busy liao.. SA meetings, BC meetings JUDO training.wah.. can really kill me. hmm.. short blog here, I have no energy to type anymore..

liFE GETTING BORING.

(look around) opps.. dusty blog I had.. hmm. .. What a long long time since the last time I blog..hmm, finally found that little time to blog today.. Hmm, so what can i blog?

National Day..
Torned out the night before after the fireworks.. So its Honsonn, Jing Ren, Derrick and me, walking around the CBD area. We chat, sing, and so on. Met shawn and his classmate at 4-5 plus. Where we chat with shawn.

Speaking of that, WAHAHA, Honsonn recognise the wrong person..haha. He thought Anitawa to be a girl who he thinks is "chio" haha.. but it didn't turn out to be? haha. Speaking of Anitawa, suddenly some distant cousin of her, Anitasa.. (Anita S***) come to my mind. My secondary life was a interesting one due to some songs.. haha( honsonn should know what i mean).

National day was a whole day camp for me, I reach home at 7++ am and was knocked out till then. Watch national day parade. then thats the end for national day.

Other matters....
I was also very happy that my toes are clear from injuries and will be back to judo. HAHA.. grading coming soon, will be yellow belt then, provided I pass. But seriously hope I pass. Don't want to be mocked for not being good in judo. OSOTO GARI..

Biz Climate. hmm.. My project, "jaunt and retreat" hmm the signing up don't look very nice? what happen?? isit because they don't trust a year one heading a project or??? haiz.. perception errors, what an example. Lets hope the result wil be better, I will persevere, hope my teammates are then so, don't lose hope on me.. I am just disabled, not unabled.

Student Ambassador, don't find myself super active there, go to workshops and so from here, haven't really head or involve in projects from here. Why? maybe is the sense of infior..

Just recently during Yi Qi's birthday,in the middle of the night; 56 teams had a liitte chit-chat session and our ex love life was brought out. Shawn, Honsonn, Jing Ren shared their piece of mind. But I didn't really share. Nothing much to share actually, its all history. But shawn said that I have nothing to be proud of my ex-relationship. Well, wanted to defend myself, but choose not to. I am not proud at all, I know how stupid I was then at that time. But I learnt it and I had vowed I will be good from then.

To add on, I chose to be single for the next few years as a plan, whether it change or not is within my control. But being single, the reason i can give is, I am just not a Mr. Right to any girls out there. I am not as talented, not as handsome, not as cool, not as humourous. Till then, I had enjoyed my life being alone, reading books, playing games, performing to the standard i set for myself, pratising self-love.. What can i say? numbed to love.. a frozen warm heart.

I am reading up.On the laws of leadership. I know i pocess that power of leadership but just to mild. I have my own style, but I am reading up to become better, to increase my power. End my declining personalities.

Semester coming to an end, will be changing Class, a few questions poped out in my head. " Will I still survive as well as it is now in the new class?", " will my classmate be nice be hardworking be complying be good instead of political?" ," Will I be a hatred in class or a love in class?" I seriously feel at times I don't want to change class, I want to stick to what it is now just in case it go to the worse. But accept it, changes are inevitable, I thought I accepted that fact, am really so?

NO MONEY!!! haiz.. used to be senseless in terms of that. But now i know, everything needs money.. haiz.. got to find time to work for money.

Laziness is ruling over me too. I played in class, I rot at home, I slack out. I only listen to music,, play games and sleep. Life getting just way too boring

Moonlight shines on me, I stay so long away from blog that i forget how it looks like. Hmmm..sorry.. for the long time dissappearance, tireness and laziness put me away.. nothing much happen recently, just school, Biz Climate project, SA meeting, Judo training. hmmm

I learnt my lesson from Judo now, never go and push yourself when you are seriously tired and sleepy. Why I say so? thats because I was injured during the tuesday training. What happened? I was doing my left rolling breakfall, because I am sleepy, I used the wrong leg to flip, causing me to lan with all my toes bended!! thus injured. didn't went to visit any doctor till thursday when i feel cold the whole day due to the swellness. Right now, I am back to normal, fast huh?? I still feel so lousy, my friends are still laughing at me that i am not good in Judo, time to train harder, real HARD!!

I seriously wonder why is my confidence SO LOW nowadays, I was not able to speak well enough, I stumbled during the meeting of Biz Climate when I am suppose to present my project, in the end is my advisor zann that help me.. ARGH!! what the hell is happening?? but neverthemind, as i am back to full gear now!!.

A question came to my mind nowadays, Can i get to my future? compare to my other buddies, their future is quite clear. Honsonn wants to be a doctor, Jing Ren is going to be a combat engineer in the army for ten years and open a shop after that, Derrick is going to be a Air Force Radar officer, Shawn is going to be be his own boss, Nigel is going to be ? (forget le shit.. sorry nigel). I want to become a Army Guardsmen, Can i get to my dream?? I injured so many time le, I'm so scare i will kana SCDF!!.. I planned a alternate path for me to, I am aiming to become a presenter also, can i ever reach it??? lets hope and strive.

And nowadays, my brothers 'tao hua" keep booming ar, what about me?? nah, phobia of the black humour .. furthermore, I am not very optimistic coming to that kind of stuff. For people who don't know "tao hua'' , its a term used in chinese to discribe someone love life. hmm ya?? looks like my chinese improved!! haha..destined to sing "lonely"? nah, lets not hope so.. be optimistic!! Any way, I just educate my junior how to woo girls,haha.. maybe he will suceed? anyway, i suceeded once and almost once.. I am not experienced ma, I only woo gal twice in my life so far, other days? i woo happiness and things I like, or maybe some gals woo me..lala..impossible..just kidding.

I have to say, I am living fine nowadays, stress?? there is bound to be some, but I should be optimistic to over come. Lastly I have to say, sorry to all those who suffer my Attitude problem during the past few weeks, seriously in a very bad mood and stress during the past few weeks. but I feel, everything is going back to normal. =)

mood: just calm

hmmm.. long time since i last blog. What can say? well, I cut all the things that i have done just give a general idea will do.

Life in school:
Just surviving is the word. I am not the best there, just good enough. My 'A's have been a inquality ones nowdays. hmm.. haiz.... I am struggling to show my abiliites.

Happy that I got the project director of a BC project - "outing" its a nothing big, but it is a small step ahead. I am determined to go ahead to complete this project though small , but i respect it. Going to do the best for it.Any more project for me to head?? hopefully...

Student Ambassador, isit a place for me?? I hope so? I feel so inferior there?? I don't know why.. but no matter what, I am staying for good..

Judo.. whenever I am there for the training, I don't feel good at all. I am so agitated that I couldn't throw anyone down.. the stress is there.. haiz..hope for a better ending one day..

mood: tired,*feel like singing

Nothing much all this weeks, just very busy with school.. Will be performing this monday for Judo, but I losed my Judo Pants.. sianz.. Projects from BC coming up, made a stupid request to BC to have a new department call the "human Resource" haha.. hmmm.. guess thats all for today, very tired.. =0

mood: Happy after CS.. Weather:

" tell me how long was the time I last blog.. LONG LONG AGO.. LONG LONG AGO." hmm, the song long long ago edited version best discribe my blog.. Long ago that it traps dust now.. Nothing much to say.. Its just school after school for the pass 2 to 3 weeks..

Yeah, I dark again!! hmm guess why, I noticed something that my skin tone had turn white as times goes by.. So took the opportunity of my classmate's sentosa trip and went to suntent!! yeah!!

I read a news today, a fit sporty teenage girl collapse and died mysteriously after 3 days in coma. A teenage girl who went to Pulau Ubin and fall down with little bruise and a small minor head injury and was out of danger, but died all a sudden after 2 days.Funny things happening around us.. hmm. whats wrong with this world???

Another wrong happening is the peace of this world. It seems that it is no longer a stable peace countries in the northern hemisphere is sliding to war. I mean the incident where North Korea fired 6 long range cruise missile which landed harmlessly on the international sealine. The US, Japanese, Chinese , South Korea, the whole world is shocked and dissapointed with this. Instead of peace conference about disarmament. North Korea broke the world record to reject international demand, I forgotten the time, it is either 45 hours or 45 mins. This is kind of sad, as it showed some hostility of the North Korean. The worse out come of this is US and Japanese including South Korea taking military actions on North Korea,to make it worse the chinese might come into the action on the opposition side to protect North Korea, to protect their economy since the North Koreans are a vital market to China. And thats just worse come senario. .. At the same time, a war is going now between Pakistan and Israel... WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD???

Guess I got to stop here.. I am too busy..lol...haha.. busy to sleep..busy to do RJ, Busy in school and Busy with games ..hah =P

Thoughts: Perfections, Respect and Happiness Welcome to my life NONG NONG AGO

mood: half dead

ITAlY WON FIFA WORLD CUP 2006!!!! yeah!! opps, kind of late. hmm thats just yesterday morning. Was delighted when Italy won the world cup, not because that I support ITALY but that my predicution is right. HAHA.. As I said to my buddies, ITALY WILL WIN and it did.

Sunday was quite a boring day over at school, I signed up to be a helper of my school's event, Bridging Lives FIFA WORLD CUP 2006 Fesita. Thought it is going to be a very exciting moment for me but it seems not so. Firstly that I am quite lonely there, no one i am really close with are there. I was the stage crew then with Jeslin, Liyana and Joanne; all from Business Climate. Was told to report at 12.30 and then was a little briefing but nothing much being briefed, followed by a slack till 3.30. I was pretty unclear of my job that day, my job that day as briefed is of no difference of Usher.I was to usher the performers to their stage and check everything is running smoothly. Its not smooth at all that day, the performers are late for 30 mins, stage not set up by the logistics thus delaying the performance by 2 hours. So Jeslin and I was like, 'WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSE TO DO???SIANX' So did little but chat alot with Jeslin as Joanne and Liyana were at the agora while we are at the facilitate room. Secondly, the crowd is really 'huge' , get what i mean? ya its rainning that day, what a bad day!!, so there were little crowd, furthermore i really wonder how they let the public know of this event when they only send mails!! and for your info, it's EMAILS!! I thought they should had let students going block to block to aware the residents of this event, manpower is not quite a problem there are over 5000 students in RP and under CIE's Young Aspirer there is 3 IGs which can cater simply up to 100+ students!! I was wondering sports club people are in CIE's event too? but nevermind they are RP students too. Thirdly would be that no one is going to watch world cup with me =(, Jeslin was not interested and was with her friends who are all girls.. for your info, i am quite shy, Seniors? how many I know??

My final decision for that day is to leave the campus and join my buddies over at Honsonn tai zi's house to watch the world cup as there is nothing to do after 8 til the world cup screening at 2 in the lecture hall. But i didn't leave so early, I left at 11.15 pm with Joanne and liyana. Honestly speaking, I thought that there is some BAD OMEN coming for monday . I accompanied Honsonn to 7-11 after sending Sueh Li home, to get some snacks and beverages for the world cup coming up. Was on the way back, we are chatting all the way about our lifes and so and so and so. There is some funeral going around his block, when we walk pass it, we just kept our eyes to ourselves. SUDDENLY!!! this short sutra blast loudly in front of us!! and the funeral is behind us!! Normally when people play sutra, they will play it fully, but this one is just SHORT AND LOUD!! following by a chill. Was pretty scared, so walked faster to the lift, then we saw this wild cat, not really wild it look quite well fed and has greeny eyes and was looking at us. I told honsonn, what a animal to appear now, so we went home fast... ok lets stop this topic, i am alone now.. Then was the world cup finals, " SIANX" is also the world for the early part of the game. But after all at the extra time, Zidane headbutted A Italian, WHY? he is kind of insane as France is some how at the losing state here? Zidane was shown a red card, it is fair as it is a assault not tackle!.. read the news, they are suspecting that that italian player insulted zidane, " son of a terrorist whore". If its really true, that Italian is seriously having some attitude problem.

The Italian won the world cup after a deciding 5-3 penalty shootout. Feel happy for them. After that was school, with weary and teary eyes. Had quite a bad day then since I was pretty tired.

Today was nothing, just normal problem day. I did a calculation too, got total of 33 'A's and i am going for more, not for showcase but for my future, I am sure and clear what i am doing now. No judo so spend the after school time playing CS with Edwin. And get to know a new friend!! her name is mei ting 2 years older than me.. But quite a nice girl.. hmm. nothing much, just a new friend get to say one more HI for the future days ahead.

Ahead of me will be this thursday mentor mentee session in SA at lunch time and a Racial Harmony event this friday.. lets hope the remaining week will be enjoyable and motivating for me.. Cheers =)

Thoughts: If I am ever going to get that chance, I will show...

mood: sianx

Sooooooooooo Sorry for the late entry. Actually nothing much these fews day, just abit tired just abit busy...

First would be Business Climate, signed up 3 projects. BC outing every 3 months and Project Manager for Work shops. Lastly would be the project tommorrow where I will be part of the stage crew, the world cup fiesta.

Second would be Student Ambassador, so far so good, will be signing up for the fundraising event, but is still waiting for the result as it seems that alot of SA's signing up... Lets just hope that I will pass the three month probation

Third would be Judo, trainning after training, the source of my tireness, but nevertheless I am there to prove myself, who says size matters? I will train hard... =)

Life is alittle bit stressful nowadays too.. kind of having some enemies around..haiz.. they say it takes some sacrifice to excel, so what am i sacrificing here??????

mood: tired

Tired Tired Tired, thats me today.. Haiz.. Brazil , England and Spain is out of world cup 3 of my favourite National Team. But I am still having some expectation on the world cup, will be expecting France against Germany in the Finals, to me it is really going to be a showdown.

Had Cogintive module today, its a drag, real drag as I am seriously tired today... I calculated that I had a total of 28 'A's out of the 45 problems. with about 20 ' B's and 2 modules yet to know. I was very quiet with this result as I don't want any one to know my result. However they found out one day, i mean my classmate found it out. One of them said, " to get 'A's you got to give up your friends" is it true? Isit true that to excel, I had to sacrifice something?? isit true?? All this prove too much for me, I want to excel, I want to socialise too.. haiz..

Shall stop here, tired tired tired,...

Thoughts: Am i a myth or a legend?

Tired Tired Tired, thats me today.. Haiz.. Brazil , England and Spain is out of world cup 3 of my favourite National Team. But I am still having some expectation on the world cup, will be expecting France against Germany in the Finals, to me it is really going to be a showdown.

Had Cogintive module today, its a drag, real drag as I am seriously tired today... I calculated that I had a total of 28 'A's out of the 45 problems. with about 20 ' B's and 2 modules yet to know. I was very quiet with this result as I don't want any one to know my result. However they found out one day, i mean my classmate found it out. One of them said, " to get 'A's you got to give up your friends" is it true? Isit true that to excel, I had to sacrifice something?? isit true?? All this prove too much for me, I want to excel, I want to socialise too.. haiz..

Shall stop here, tired tired tired,...

Thoughts: Am i a myth or a legend?

mood: almost insane....

He shouted in pain and He shouted to push himself, He breaks down as he is exhausted today... No-no, i am not a gay, the he is me today. Thats me when I attended Judo. Rendori was quite a torture today, it is a tough fight. Furthermore, i came to Judo with a halfly exhausted body.. first round redori, I met up H.K.; quite a tough guy. Was being thrown head first by him, went to a short concussion, but was pushing myself to continue.. Had lost balance here, but the instructor's yelling push me on..Second round was Kelvin, lost my focus here, almost gone hilarious, exhausted too as it is a continual thingy from round one. Leastly was Shao Peang, thats where I got hilarious and was pushing myself with all my remaining mights to push him down, but failed..got thrown by him, and was physically broken down then. Rested for a few minutes and push myself up to go on the next Rendori, almost pinned down a greenbelt but was not fast and strong enough,got choked in the end.. Next was Joe, he pinned me down, I shouted in attempt to break free, Lastly Found Sam, Pinned him down once, and he pinned me last.... thats all today, A tough bloody Judo Rendori...

Mood: nothing much Weather:calm

HABIT!!Sorry for that, i always have the habit of updating in week basis..haiz.. thats not very good. Last week was a great torture for me as i search back my soul and form. But I still get my 'A's which is great for me. As one of the objective for me this term would be nothing less than B, perfered all 'A's, not just daily grades but also Understanding test. my target would be GPA for all the module 3.5 and above , even the hopeless science I would aim 3.0. Not ambitious but just my expectations. And first week is a booster, but its still a torture as I had to struggle out the holiday mood in me.(world cup fever)

Happening!! I searched back my soul and form this week, start of this week was a good and energetic one. I find the power, I find the soul, I find the go... yesterday was a great GO, I started off with VB, computering and maths module. It started very stressful as i know none of the codes,but i perservered and continued to move on, doing testings, interpretation and even skip my lunch. Eventually I was the first one to come out with the codes to make the programme listen to my command of swapping the bars. Thats something moltivating, and i am expecting A for myself... moving on!!

UT was my morning call for today, just like last week. Communication module was tested today, so how was it? It is easy on some questions, but I will still hold back the comments till the result is being released.. HAHA.. hmm speaking of UT, I got an 'A' for my cognitive processing and problem solving module!! so happy!! haha.. Anyway, my lesson today is cognitive, haha.. AND I DID WELL TODAY, despite that i play abit during the second meeting and also deserted my team at the lunch break to meet up with the ambassadors, Kenny, Ernest, Olivia and Ronald. But I still rush back to help my team in the touching up of the presentation. And i seriously thought that my presenting confidence is back and is so much more stronger!! yes, looking forward to the next few days.

After school was Judo trainning, putting all my best today. As my next Objective for this term is to master the skills of Judo and promote to yellow belt by August or Sepetember, so WAKE ME UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS!! (kiddings). But it is quite demoralising today as I CAN'T PERFORM A YIPON THROW TODAY!! meaning a perfect throw. Partly is I am exhausted from the long day and the weight of my partner. But got to thank him as he is the one that tell me" GO GO GO, just throw me"eventually i did throw him correctly after like 10 tries?? hmmm Randori was up today, my first one was against a green belt, Gabriel, he is a strong one man, He flip me the first time, I was shocked as I got a blow on my head.. But soon, I got the mood and really fought with him, but still lose =( I am stillnot good. so I AM GOING TO DETER MYSELF TO TRAIN HARD AT HOME.. FITNESS!! is the thing i am focusing~~and thats another objective.haha

I had talk about three of my objective this term, lets summarise all my objective for this term
1. GET GPA 3.5 and above for modules, science lowest 3.0
2. MASTER JUDO SKILLS
3. GET FITTER4. PAsS Student Ambassador probation and continue with setting foundation
5. set foundation in Business Climate

Another day awakes me tomorrow, shall stop and rest my body for tomorrow's long battle. .. Wake me up when tommorrow comes

Thoughts: the best of me, is to be brought out!!

Mood:Vexed Weather:Cold

UT!! well, thats what starts my day in morning over at RP in W24L... No problems in it, just hope the result don't fail me.. Let me tell you, if i get a C, it simply means I FAIL! so no Cs!! no Cs.. thats how perfectionist I am. Sorry I have high expectations for me.

Its cognitive Module today, was hot about it, was on to it, but was wrecked half way. I see my teammates all not having the mood to work. Its a demoralising thing for me. But in the end, i screwed up the debate which is up at the third meeting. HAIZ..humans make mistakes but isn't my mistake kind of made at the wrong time?I wrote in my Reflection Journal today," I am dissappointed with myself as i failed to bring up the team spirit in my team and also that my speaking abilities seems to be going down" hope all this is my paranoid. Its a challenge to me now, to get back on track and shine back.

Judo training was up next after school. Today the Guardmen black belt did not turn up, ahem sorry i forget his name that's why i address him that way. Ya his absence means easier warm ups. Today all the guys in Judo all of a sudden became door lock breaker! haha.. The situation was like this, our GIs are in the storeroom behind the forum, but the door was locked!!. So of course we year ones are very keen of getting our GIs as that would mean green lights to throws!! So we actually break the lock and get our GIs since the person in charge is dead no longer in RP and HE IS HOLDING THE KEYS!! Yeah , this time round with our GIs we can do throws!!

At the end of the training we had REKSUKMI(no idea if its the correct spelling), ok means SPARING!! Guess who I spared with? The black belt make me spar with a blue belt lady, my senior. Obviously i face 2 stress, 1. She is a blue belt i am only WHITE!! definately she is better 2. She is a SHE, I don't even dare to touch her@*@!.. so she sweep my leg with me being slam! lol. I get to throw her once, but she give me chance one( haiz penetrating my Hard Man Pride) , but did a murdering One hand shoulder throw on her, and she go over my head and thug!! ouch, but i did the wrong way, thats why i call it murdering way. As Shoulder throw is suppose to let the victim fall side way however, this time she fall over me!! wahah.., but its a nice throw to me, but kind of feel bad..=(. Its a good experience and I am looking forward to more sparing..

Tomorrow will be communication module.. Will be up there agian to fight to shine!! .. hope its a better day off tomorrow=)

Thoughts: SOMETHING'S WRONG.....

mood:Happy=) weather: Rainy

School starts today, back to problems... Its a rainy morning and its freezing in the bus. Saw alot of the SA Seniors on board, actually not so many only 2 =_=... So in school, perhaps its been a long time back in school, so i am still not getting over the air con.. haiz..But its a great day, as i find myself having more and more friends in Republic, Along the corridor from my block W2 to W1I said "hi" to about 5 people and in the end I said Hi to about 10 people during the first break out.

Today, all the SA to be were all on the same boat, worrying whether they are selected for the next phrase.. Everyone is like so worried. Finally at 10 plus, the result is out. I am proud to say that " I GOT IN TO STUDENT AMBASSADOR!!" yes!!! but its not the end, i will still be going through another round of probation selection over a period... So after that all the burger members had lunch together. so good!haha.. Burger hot hot!!

I shall stop here as tomorrow will be a tedious day. One UT in the morning and Judo training after school..ok.. one shall stop here.

**sign out

Thoughts: its too good to be true.. =)

Mood: dissappointed Weather: HOT HOT

Sunday without a sunny mood.. haiz, dissapointed=( Yesterday another UT result was revealed, I got another C+ haiz.. whats happening?? Vitamins C are a good for health but definately not if it is a grade.. haiz...

Right now, all i could do is to find out whats wrong and go on..shao cheng go go!!.. yesh!!

tomorrow, another kind of result will be revealed, that will be the SA selection camp, hmm..lets hope i can get in to SA. But if not, like Zul say, everyone has different kinds of leadership, and SA has a unique way.. hmm.. lets not talk so much and sees the result tomorrow.

Thoughts: Life is a journey, a dreamy journey....

mood: HAPPYweather:hot

ENGLAND WON!! hmm.. got an idea what I did yesterday?? yes! WORLD CUP!! so England won T&T( no idea what that country is). The match starts at 12am, so I joined Honsonn and Shawn over at Jing Ren house to watch the match. Initially the match was bored, up to 45 mins the score is still 0-0... It continued this way all the way till the 80++ min.. All of us was like, ' Come on sub that Crouch off!!" we were also quite angry when Gerrard and Lampard missed mulitple chances...but finally at the 65th min Rooney was sub in together with Aarron Lennon.. Lennon is a fast winger, and with his help England soon press down on the T&T defence. On the 83th min, with a nice cross from David Beckham, Peter Crouch heads the ball breaking the dead lock. Not long after that at the 86th min, another breaking long shot by Gerrard gave T&T their second BLOW!!..Final score, 2-0
haha...

After the match, the 4 brothers walk down to Macdonald and have coffee.. soon then back to Jing Ren house to catch Sweden V.S Paraguay.. but that match proved to be just to 'sianx' so we played RISK instead.. So from 3am we played RISK till 8am, why? we are all too strong strategist..haha.. Honsonn took the path of eliminating JR's Blue Army over at Asia and i took the path of gathering troops and maintain my stonghold. Initially Honsonn was attacking Shawn and I am happily gathering troops.. But Jing Ren tried to fight in, but failed to do so. Jing Ren manage to stay a power house over at Siam with his 10 cannons.. haha.. but soon being crippled by Honsonn.. ITS A RISK!! as honsonn at that moment only had 4 cannons. Soon my neutral soon turn into violence as i strip shawn's Green Army all the way down from Greenland to Africa and South America.. Shawn eventually was the first to be eliminated. Next was Honsonn and Jing Ren and I stand last.. But due to some time problem..we stop the game, I Got 15 territories in the end and is declared the winner..chey!! haha..

Lastly, Jing Ren treat us BREAKFAST!! yeah..the rest of 56 team don't be sad as there will be more comming up..haha..! after which was home sweet home, SLEEP!! till now..wahaha.. I AM A PIG . YEs i know wakakaz..

Thoughts: I know its hard to walk this journey, but i am perservered enough to walk all the way...because i am SHAO CHENG..

mood: tired buT HAPPY!!

hi all, guess i got to first say sorry for the late updating of entries.Back from Student Ambassador Selection camp!!! 12-14 june... met alot of new friends.. ALL POTENTIAL STUDENT AMBASSADOR..hmm

Camp day 1
met with Edwin to go to RP together and reported. Got together with my teammates and learn that my interviewer Big Zul is my team leader!! haha.. happy =) as Zul is a good leader,an objective clear one...Sam, my judo friend is also in this team. Soon due to some backing out of campers, another group was splited and eventually spread evenly over the 4 groups.. here are the member of my team:
Ivan, Li Cheng, Sam, Edmund, Raj, Rebecca, Nicole, Karen, Felicia, Nurul, Grace, Jovi, Beverly, Sha,Jerlisa and myself...haha.together, we are the BURGERS!

Camp day 2
Camp day 2.. Had camp fire.. during this period, our team also go through lots of challenges..hmm forgotten to add in day camp one. Our team started off losing and losing, but our moltivation among each and everyone of us, we happen to flip back and win all the way, thats the heartening part of our memories in the camp.First was the mascot then the introducing game which is our losing games, but after the Human foosball, we happen to win all the way then.. hmm How happening it is.. haha.. CAmpfire was fun too, crapping ahead.. AND EDMUND GET TO DANCE WITH THE PRESIDENT..haha...

CAmp DAy 3.
ended off with us cleaning the area, and Burgers help alot in the cleaning of area, our team work also help us finish it off fast...lastly in the end, we all went to swenson and have our first gathering but it will not be the last...

I shall not talk more about what happen in the camp, dead tired now.. but through this period of time, I understand how hard it takes a group of leaders to become united, I also understand that being a good leader will also mean we must be a good follower, heard this before but never experience it, now i experienced it and i am going to cherish it.. And also not forgetting my teammates from burger, the true courage from them to improve themselves, is something i really respect them..LAst but not least, i had to say thank you to Big Zul and Amin who give me the moltivation to curb my dominance and help others shine and they are the one that make me find out my own strengths and weaknesses... BURGER ROCKS!! and Student Ambassador ROCKS!!

Thoughts: life is a journey not a destination.. HOPE I CAN GET IN TO SA!! and SO MY TEAMMATES! yeah!

mood: ill weather: hOT!

hi all, sorry for the late entries... hmm just to notify you guys that you might have some problems going to my tagboard, currently i am still investigating the problem.. hope you guys understand thanks.

Ending the first semester.. a remarkable long journey of 7 weeks i had passed.Guess its time to take a break. I am also very happy to score 17 A's out of the thirty problem, and the rest scoring B, not touching any grades lower than that.. I am determined to continue this way +). As ususual, my holiday didn't seems like a holiday at all.. Will be going to Networking IG camp on the 5th - 7th June. Then i will have Judo training on the 8th of June, will be only free at 9th and 11th June. After that, will be off to Student Ambassador Selection Camp where I will be put into challenges to prove me worth a Ambassador.. Wish ME GOOD LUCK!!Another Judo Training will be coming up after the camp on 15th June, one day after I break camp. hmmm.. Going to be quite busy during the holidays.

Woke up with a slight fever this morning, took a long long rest and cancelling the trip to library. Feel so much better now. =)

Another 9 more problems to go.. I shall conquer all!! yes!! =) 3 more months to Judo Grading, aiming that orange belt and soon yellow and blue and green then brown then BLACK!! lol =D

thoughts: how long can i survive?? despite my determination...